David Ruprecht

for my wife

Dinner

.@BUZZRplay Where the fuck are my royalties? I’ve got a gun and a ham sandwich.

You'll find me in the reduced rack.

@supermarketsham Looking good in a grocery cart!

@supermarketsham this guy is fake. Don't follow

.@Ibatvmc Stay out of my aisles, you piece of shit.

Thank God for the few closed holidays which remove the American scum out of these aisles.

Saw a woman crying in the bakery department. Turned around and pretended not to notice. Later learned she shot herself.

My son http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10713534

Went to Barbados for a few months. Contracted a horrible disease.

The cart with the squeaky, unmovable wheel. That is my life.

http://twitpic.com/15zd7x - I'm going to have to contact the company, the product is faulty.

Every time I look in the ____________ I feel my life getting a little bit ______________.

Unscramble the clue: pseseridno

Hey, the next time you're at the checkout counter and you hear the beep, I want you to stop and think about how miserable life is.

There is no love in aisle 3, just the stale soul of a man.

I used to dress up as Mr. Yuck for my wife. I'm so lonely.

Sometimes I go to the supermarket and cry.