Sydney Beckner

tfw the air is as thick as your thighs

@shovelsandrope how about a little race from Johns island on down to @BanjoBQue ? Last one there brings the bourbon.

Why the fuck do white people start kickstarters to raise money for them to run a marathon???? Like running is free bitch you're so annoying

It's really cute that yall are snapchatting me pictures of your Easter festivities while I'm sittin alone at a bar before I go back to work.

my professor just said "fucks dicks"

What a beautiful day to be hungover

@mojgani thin mints are only golden when ice cold

This kiss cam doesn't pass the bechdel test

what's your dick like homie, what are you into?

Someone stole my ashtray off my porch??????

@NotSawyerOkey chosen at birth

say what you want about her performance, but those sharks were great

@erinlynne_ no I haven't!

#AmericanSniper was a horrible and shameful means of propaganda. I am so utterly taken aback by the racism and glorification of violence.

santa brought me 1,000,000,000 candles and this lil window crystal that makes my room into a rainbow

if i were a stripper my name would be a megalodonk

Maybe our country is just filled with SUPER dedicated civil war reenactors

honestly i'm so emotionally fragile that walgreens commercials make me cry

i cannot even form words for the #FergusonDecision because the lump in my throat won't let me