سيم شاو

broke, jobless, not funny, 5’6, lil dick, chopped

@skekat i didn’t say what year

@symchau2 bro u weren’t even born

i peaked on 9/11

@MarcoMacabre fortnite location

Dude live in a community college

@olviaalive #phonologies

@symchau2 pop off autocorrect 😍

lord i’m one lord im poo lord i’m pee lord i’m four lord im five hundred miles from my hoe

@olviaalive phonologies hi olvia michelle sorry idk what that first word is i’m typing with one finger and autocorrect did that

@symchau2 hi sym

life is genuinely so boring without a significant other to invest all of your love and effort into

I don’t “flirt” I try and look HOT, and if no one approaches me then I DIE ALONE. It’s simple

@BigPearButt how’d they get this picture of you

Um

110 year old Turkish grandma shares her secret to long life: ︀︀ "The amulet gives me power”

imagine being excited your baby is a boy and not a girl just to name that fucker Michael or John

after i did that 6 times over the course of 3 months you greedy fucking jew kikes sent me a new modem that works just as horribly. you people are jokes and i swear to God i will send you to hell myself before i die may Allah be my witness

i’ve gotten ahold of your retarded worthless “support team” who i have treated with nothing but the utmost respect and understanding and all you motherfuckers do is tell me to reset the modem.

@Bell your services have made me contemplate suicide. i work 10 hour shifts in a pharmacy dealing with retarded old people and narcotic addicted white trash and every night i come home to my shitty fucking wifi and i genuinely hope you people burn in hell. you are worthless

@1obotomized it’s always fun whenever they do this to the female pharmacists and end up embarrassing themselves and their putrid white faces turn beet red and they storm off

there are so many male customers who still refuse help from women because "women don't know anything" what the fuck happened to shame. this just happened to my manager tonight

Cape Cod is about to look like the Blue Man Group