Wu-Tay

Lmao I just remembered I finally went off on this kid for watching videos at max volume at the bar (serial offender btw) and I noticed he was wearing headphones last night 👏🏼👏🏼

Being a genuine, good person is fun because what do you mean I met all these new people l would have never met if I wasn’t in a relationship and now after the breakup they have MY back? Like homie, was I with the fucking devil? 👀 regardless, I’m thankful for my new friends :)

Boyfriend: did you go home to get ready for me? Me: no I went home to poop and had time to get ready

I just realized I move my lips to put in chapstick/tube gloss rather than move the chapstick around my lips

Inviting him over for the last time just to let him really know what he’s giving up 🫡

Almost just hopped in the shower with my AirPods and wish that was first time.

I don’t block mfs after a relationship bc it feels so good to not watch their stories while they actively watch every single one of mine

Starting therapy today and I just know it’s gonna make me hate men.

50 degrees and sunny? Please. Give it to me intravenously.

The Roman Empire is to men as Jagged Little Pill is to women

Swing my dick around aka not making shit today just ordering a buncha food

Sometimes when I clean I just assume if I’m putting bleach on an unknown substance I think it’s gonna make mustard gas, I’m just a girl

“You give me the demon to love you. You give me the demon to leave” go about your day, leaving this here for when I do the annual review of my twitter posts.

I really thought Mario Vasquez and Wilder Valderrama were the same person for way too long.

The only thing I’m married to is my favorite bar.

Being a libra is cool til you feel everyone else’s sad emotions too

No because I can’t eat Cheezits for breakfast every day and that makes me sad

I just bought a Hozier album for $80 and I love that for me

I hate when I lose fantasy cause I forgot to look at it til Sunday but I’m just a girl

I buy extra large clothes cause I want to feel like I’m wearing my nonexistent boyfriend’s clothes #girlmath