Ty Berry

@tberry3 Sadly gb% is from balls in play. Would be cool is he did 99.6% K or GBs lol

@AveryChenier haha fuck. send him back to the twins then. no longer impressed

99.6% strikeouts or ground balls, lmao

Thought earlier “Nathan Lukes is approaching Socrates Brito territory” so I looked it up. Brito started his Jays tenure 0-21. Since getting 2 hits on March 31, Lukes is 0-23 (with no walks) 🫠

Just finished months of therapy for my crippling fear that everything I care deeply about will be ruined by a poorly timed bout of diarrhea. Now to celebrate by watching my beloved Toronto blue Jays… oh. Oh god no

(Blue Jays player seeing some guy’s tweet about this series loss being unacceptable) fuck. wish he’d told me that before. would’ve tried to win the game if I’d known

Tyler Heinemann and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad two days

@AndrewStoeten Who knows if he would’ve felt it eventually, but

@AndrewStoeten Technically one example (before an MRI was done for insurance purposes in the absence of any symptoms) was Jose Berrios this spring

Gotta say, I’d feel a little better about the Berríos diagnosis if I could find some examples of guys who pitched through a stress fracture in their elbow.

@SiddallJoe @mike_petriello @AdamMcCalvy Asked the same question in my group chat yesterday. You can use my helpful diagram on TV if you want as long as I get royalties (I put a lot of effort into making it)

@mike_petriello @AdamMcCalvy what about two guys that are exactly same height…thus, top & bottom of zone will be exactly the same based on %’s…but one guy is more of a longer legged build & the other more torso…was it considered to just measure each individual (kneecap & top of zone/chest area??

Really liked this from @AdamMcCalvy on the actual process of guys getting measured for their ABS strike zones mlb.com/brewers/news/b…

@CespedesBBQ *fluharty

26-AND-UNDER POWER RANKINGS PART 2 25. Angels 24. Blue Jays 23. Twins 22. Rangers 21. Rays ⬇️⬇️⬇️ sports.yahoo.com/mlb/article/ml…

@AndrewStoeten “Annoying guy telling you about how much his fantasy team scored this week” is going to put the NFL out of business

The shut-ins excited by this slop are such anti-human freaks that they've never felt a whole room twitch uncomfortably when someone starts talking about a dream they had last night, and don't realize that this is exactly the same and just as uninteresting to everyone else.

@JohnnyGiunta_ I was there, but I still almost don’t believe that Bowden Francis started 14 games for the 2025 Blue Jays

I keep hearing the Blue Jays got worse this offseason let’s look at pitching: SP ERA in 2025: 20th in MLB SP fWAR; 23rd RP ERA: 16th RP fWAR: 16th All while returning an offense (besides Bo) that is projected to finish top 5 in MLB. Pitching was a problem, they fixed it.

@theZubes My not-yet-two year old has been talking about axolotls for a while. Something in the collective consciousness of a generation I think

Something myself and every other parent I spoke to this weekend is truly mystified by is that seemingly every kid knows what an axolotl is

I’m sad how it ended but in a weird way I don’t really feel all that much different today than I would have if they’d won. Like mostly just feeling grateful for that ride, and the whole season really. That was the most fun I’ve ever had watching baseball in my entire life

@AndrewStoeten “grok, was the pitch I just watched sail 3 feet wide of the strike zone a wild pitch?”

wut

Good news: I am feeling sluggish at work today. That means Shohei Ohtani, who I think is just like me in most ways, will also be worse at his job today

This is a personal Canadian Heritage Moment