can you not

i can safely assume 98% of us should be doing homework right now.

why are boobs and butts so enticing they are literally sacks of fat

fun prank: put $1000 in an envelope and mail it to me

people: watch your language me: oh shit sorry

maybe she's born with it.. maybe its an Instagram filter

ghost hunters: can you communicate with us *door creeks* ghost hunters: oh so your name is william

parents: why don't you come socialize with the family? me: sits with family me: gets insulted by entire family me: goes back to bedroom

twinkle twinkle little star, your annoyin go jump infront of a car

row row row your boat gently away from me

rt if your boobs glow in the dark

i am fiji water you are pond water

there could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you'd have no idea

walk in the club like whaddup I got a oh no oh god wrong building im so sorry continue with your funeral god bless

birds are lucky because they get to attend concerts for free

if i send you ugly selfies our friendship is real

im trying to make a miley cyrus joke but it's not twerking

if i had a dollar for everytime someone called me ugly id be broke cause im perfect lol later losers

"your friend is hot" story of my life

a short poem: do teachers understand that you take other classes

breaking news: i dont care