Boris Khaykin

Capitalism is when you get to live off your rich dad, socialism is when we ALL get to live off your rich dad

There’s no single best AI, it depends on the intended use. Claude excels at writing code, Gemini is best for creative/content, and OpenAI is the leader in accidentally bombing elementary schools.

@youngmalevoters They killed him for this

Phil Hartman on immigration, 1997

They killed him for this

Wow, I love my mayor!

BREAKING: Study shows people who do that thing you do are super smart AND hot, and people who do that stuff you don’t like are dumb and ugly

@LouPerez 🙏🙌

I wrote the script and produced the video. But the great Boris Khaykin @theBorisK gifted me that line. Hire that man to fulfill your joke punch-up needs.

I can’t believe Trump extended my vacation in Puerto Rico without congressional approval

what?! I said, no! We have perfectly good socialist dipshits at home!

@nypost what?! I said, no! We have perfectly good socialist dipshits at home!

Venezuelan leader Nicolas Maduro, wife, headed to NYC where they were indicted, Trump says trib.al/HvTnrk9

Trump playing YMCA at his rallies gonna hit different now

That’s why democrats didnt wanna release the Epstein files, cuz it proves Trump is a queer icon

Damn it does this mean I can’t write in Dick Cheney for mayor of New York City?

My new show pairs stand-up comedy with wine and spirits. Comedy Tasting goes live twice this month with killer lineups: October 23rd and October 30th at Some Good Wine, NYC!

Had to turn down the Riyadh Comedy Festival on account of my “Jewish gals be fuckin’ through a hole in a sheet, Muslim gals be doing everything BUT fuckin’ through a hole in a sheet” bit

Did you know there’s a SECOND Jewish State?! Join gasdigital.com to watch the full #AmericanLoser Podcast and use code “INSTA” at signup to unlock a special discount on your membership! @LoserKPBurke @theBorisK @LaurenDesLeroux

Worst episode of Is It Cake? ever

“I could fuck a kid in the middle of 5th avenue, and I still wouldnt lose any voters!”

Not hot enough. Hotter. We deserve to be punished.

The markets are loving these protests!