Garbage Takes! - by David™️

🐟 Gone Hiatus-in’ 🐟

My new pop-and-lock routine is called “degenerative disc disease.”

We should replace the 50 stars on the American flag with the logos of the super PACs and lobbyist that spend the most money bribing congress.

You know their rap game is solid if the second line in their first verse is “And I’m here to say….”

I'll say one thing about Elon, he has succeeded in making Twitter less addictive.

It must be confusing for an insect species to be given the worst possible name (mosquito hawk) but in some places having the most elegant name (crane flies).

What I’m saying is all guitar pedals should just be a circuit board you step on to deactivate. They cost $5 each wear out like a rusty claymore.

Seriously, some guitar pedal and Eurorack modules cost more for the manufacturer to purchase the knobs than it is to make the parts. And like most stomp boxes: $30 for the enclosure and $3.52 for the electronics.

My kid attached a korok to the front of his vehicle and hasn’t even seen Mad Max yet.

Breath of the Wild was an outdoorsman survival game while Tears of the Kingdom is a straight up redneck game where you go around shirtless building monster trucks that can run over bears and occasionally melting your nutsack to you left thigh when explosives backfire.

@pixelatedboat Your brain will work like it’s DeSantis live-streaming his presidency on Twitter.

Wanna feel old? You’re now roughly 3 seconds older after reading this really dumb tweet.

Gonna have to side with the ratfuck politicians trying to ban TikTok, not because of Pooh’s data hoarding, but simply because any site devoted to stupid dances or cool hacks to heat your bathtub with a toaster is the dumbest non-political social network yet.

Dentist: when was the last time you flossed? Me: look, I only need you so they can identify my body should shit go down

@benjitheblender Yes! Coincidentally, I was just going to call them today to figure out what was going on. Glad to know that is normal right now and mine wasn’t lost in the mail.

Has anyone renewed a passport lately? I can't even get the office to answer the phone, let alone schedule an appointment!

@benjitheblender I should be offended, but I’m so put off by Eurorack bros at this point that I endorse this tweet.

I’m in the most beautiful studio in London with so much gear available to me but we’re still using Kontakt samples. Sometimes the best tools aren’t what you need to create. Sometimes the easiest tools are better.

@whatsJo The democrat party runs like the shittiest microtransaction game.

fascist: *threatens fascism* some democrat in my email: BOY, OH, BOY, JOANNA, OOOOOO, THIS IS BADDDDDD!! Oooooo, will you chip in??Can we count on you? Can you rush an emergency donation?? IT’S GONNA GET WORSE. IT’S GONNA ESCALATE. THERE SHE GOES!! DID YOU SEND IT? WHERE IS IT?

JOHN LENNON: He wear no shoeshine, he got...toe-jam football, he got...monkey finger, he shoot...Coca-Cola POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: what