Fresh Horrors

No matter how many times I shower I can never seem to wash away my shame

When your sandwich order kills all the Jedi...

top ten things you do NOT want to hear in the Nursing profession: 10. Shut the fuck up 9. Fuck you idiot 8. Your pay check is in the trash

I always make sure I am the dampest man in the room.

My B day is in a few days. 300 years ago from then was when Kaitlin Olson, the original hob goblin, brought me into this world

I haven't seen the sun in 127 years, coincidently it's been 128 since I tried to blow up the sun for being racist toward mole people.

@dril What's wrong with being a hob gobblins? Fucking mammal supremacists.

Tfw your an accomplished professor, but also profoundly traumatized

*Screams incoherently at a street light*

Undercover #420 operations are in place. Discreet traps have been set up throughout the city today. #Happy420

WOW @CNN @cnnbrk Just Released the Footage of the #MOAB striking #Afganistan RT THIS!! pic.twitter.com/v3rMQQyrcD

*record scratch* *freeze frame* "Yup, that's me, Abraham Lincoln. You're probably wondering how we all ended up here"

Last meme of 2016 #Memes2016

That Rousey fight... Deja vu. I felt like I was watching the presidential election all over again.

When ur bae gives you their heart for Christmas

Meme so hard and get so far but in the end it doesn't even matter. Merry Memesmas

Nintendo released Super Mario Run today. The game begs the question: Why must Mario always be running?