The FSM

@HolyGod noodles?

@HolyGod your kid @kingofthejews hit on me earlier... I don't know how to respond. Just thought you should know.

Just wanna welcome all my new followers. Any pirates among ya?

If you wanna check out something better than church? A couple of my High Priests have a great little blog for you. ( http://is.gd/hZmH )

@Shocktart geeeyargh!

"I am currently away from reality. At the tone, please leave your name, reality and consciousness and I'll get back to you when I can."

Why is it so hard to download Mozarrella Firefox medamnit!!!

Is giving up pasta for lent. (I'm just screwing with ya!)

Have you heard the one about the italian leprechaun? No? Gimme a green beer... We'll talk.

Hope nobody ate one of the "brown" eggs yesterday...

Did somebody say ravioli?

What happened to #TangledTuesday? I was really hoping to score at Twister tonight with local sorority!

I don't like politics. Too religious.

@GregCooper lulz

Somebody tweeting about me? #discovergod

Where did all the pirates go? #NeedCandy

Wall Street, what? Oh, the douchebags that sell out their own species for something called "Money?" They get the strippers with VD...

Where there's a will there's a lawyer...

Dude... wait... what? #thebeer

After being hacked today, St. Peter is working hard to make sure the tech gates of Heaven are safe from Beelzebub's sinful marauders.