hold my braincell

Overhearing a woman say to a man that we aren’t ready for a woman president and she wouldn’t vote that way makes me nauseous

Why the fuck do fleas exist

It’s officially start your car before you get in it season 🥵

If your cat doesn’t sprint to the door when you get home you’re doing it wrong 🥲💖

I’ve been sick for so long I’ve officially reached terminally ill mindset

If you’re allergic to peanuts my peen is nutting all over you

So we all agree that @Uber support is actually the worst

Already seeing the christmas content. Time to deactivate my phone until new years

Why isn’t midol candy coated like advil like hello it’s for the girls

@freak_fractal RT

Juggling 3 jobs and still feeling brokie is crazy this economy sucks

@freak_fractal I didn’t really like it I’m bummed

This is so good I’m gonna shove it up my a**

@carhink Me reading this currently having a period shit trying not to cry

Why do I always put my hands on bar floors when I’m drunk I’m fucking ash ketchum.. gonna catch every disease

I bug you cause I love you

Me on a cleaning frenzy: let me finish all these bags of chips real quick so I can throw them away 🙃

@freak_fractal Definitely had a pair with roses on them too lmao

Just remembered galaxy leggings 😵‍💫

Ordering things off Etsy is great except when you want to decorate immediately and it won’t arrive for 3 weeks 😭

The way I don’t even think about going out on the weekends anymore. Just got sent a promo code for an afters I was like ??? Oh yeah it’s Saturday. No thanks

Me running into work today: “did yall know Rosa parks husband had a car????”

Why do I feel so fucking depressed and lost like damn can I have a crumb of assurance and serotonin pls