mick | jailed for pulling the tag off a mattress

I know I only have like, two real people who follow me on here and one of them is my mom, but I kind of can't pay my phone bill and none of the jobs I've applied for have called back. so if anyone wants to spare some change my way that would be cool. or just rt this, either way

Cue I will remember you by Sarah mclachlan

@muddaub Cracker Barrel line cooks will remember 🙏

@muddaub We are Country Fried Steak, we carry the gravy

@muddaub Real Americans eat buckets of patriot slop

@muddaub “An American Schnitzel” in theaters this Christmas

@muddaub Does he do this a recurring bit?!

@muddaub Never Forget

@muddaub You blew it up! Goddamn you! Goddamn you all to hell!

“WHO WILL REMEMBER THE COUNTRY FRIED STEAKS “

AI bros hate art, hate artists, and resent anybody making a living off of their creativity. They don’t hide it either.

if you listen to black people in indiana, it's already happening. palantir billboards in black neighborhoods and omnipresent drone surveillance that comes with tickets for perceived infractions! it's a testing ground

We laugh at the pain of the Jackass crew, but suffering is no laughing matter. Wouldn't you...like to donate to my friend's chemotherapy...today? *sad eyes* gofundme.com/f/9xj79?utm_so…

son I'm at a birthday party rn I am fucking crying

LETS NOT FORGET

part of being an adult is realising you can stay up as late as you want the sequel to this is realising you can also go to sleep as early as you want

Tommy Tuberville says this Auburn property has been his home (not a beach house in Florida) for seven years. Tax records show his son signed for the homestead. (AL law requires candidates for governor to have lived in the state for seven years.)

it feels like all of the spirit halloween jokes over the years have been building up to this one right here

no sleeping on the job!!!!

whiskey should be drank straight from the bottle, alone, while you contemplate your joys and sorrows