Psychotherapy and Counselling

“Although I am a typical loner in my daily life, my awareness of belonging to the invisible community of those who strive for truth, beauty, and justice has prevented me from feelings of isolation.” — Albert Einstein

Daniel Goleman on why emotional intelligence matters more than IQ Most schools spend years teaching algebra, history, and grammar. Almost none teach kids how to handle their own emotions. Daniel Goleman, the psychologist who brought emotional intelligence into mainstream conversation argues this is one of our most costly mistakes. The four pillars of EQ Goleman breaks it into four domains: 1. Self-awareness: Knowing what you're feeling and why. The foundation of good intuition, decision-making, and what he calls a "moral compass." 2. Self-management: Handling distressing emotions so "they don't cripple you" while also "aligning our actions with our passions." 3. Empathy: Knowing what someone else is feeling. Not assuming. Sensing. 4. Social skill: Putting it all together in skilled relationship. The brain science behind it The circuitry supporting emotional intelligence is "the last circuitry of the brain to become anatomically mature." Combined with neuroplasticity, the window to build these skills in children is wide open and actively closing. A meta-analysis of hundreds of schools with social-emotional learning programs showed: - Pro-social behaviour up 10% - Anti-social behaviour down 10% - Academic achievement scores up 11% Teaching kids to manage emotions doesn't distract from academics, rather, it improves them. The leadership insight that resonated with millions One chapter of Goleman's book landed harder than any other. It argued that "leaders who were sons of a bitch were actually defeating the company's own mission." "I think that made a lot of people happy, because they work for people like that." Emotional brutality at the top isn't just unpleasant. It's strategically self-defeating. Men vs. women: what the data says Women tend to score higher on empathy and social skills. Men tend to score higher on self-confidence and managing distressing emotions. But here's what matters most: "If you look at leaders in the top 10%, there's no difference between men and women on any of those variables." Highly effective people develop into what Goleman calls "a whole human being" picking up strengths where they need them. The uncomfortable truth IQ has risen for a hundred years. Emotional intelligence? Goleman isn't sure we're moving in the right direction. "The number of intergroup wars, the intergroup hatred, the levels of familial abuse, indicators of emotions out of control don't look that great." We've built education systems to develop the rational mind. We've left the emotional mind to figure itself out. The research shows that's a mistake we can measure. Which of the four EQ pillars do you think is hardest to develop, and why?

“To do the useful thing, to say the courageous thing, to contemplate the beautiful thing: that is enough for one man's life.” ―T.S. Eliot

Autism: “The spectrum has become so accommodating that I fear that it has now been stretched so far that it has become meaningless and is no longer useful as a medical diagnosis.” Problem is that psychologists, and increasingly a flood of master’s level therapists have come to rely on the autism diagnosis to support their practice. Their livelihood. I suspect schools face a similar reliance on autism diagnoses for extra funding. Furthermore: Parents love it because their child gets extra services. Students love it because it makes them special. Drug companies love it because they profit from drugs. Psychologists are supposed to be the gatekeepers on diagnoses, but we are not doing very well at it.

The heart of man is very much like the sea, it has its storms, it has its tides and in its depths it has its pearls too. — Vincent van Gogh

“The most dangerous form of blindness is believing your perspective is the only reality.” - Friedrich Nietzsche

Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience. Ralph Waldo Emerson

The light within…