Alan tabern

The wife says: I heard a noise The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.

The wife says: I need wedding shoes. The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.

The wife says: Do you like this recipe? The wife means: You better get used to it.

What you will never here a woman say! What do you mean today's our anniversary?

The wife says: How much do you love me? The wife means: I did something today you're not going to like.

The wife says: Do you love me? The wife means: I'm going to ask for something expensive.

The wife says: I'll be ready in a minute. The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.

The wife says: We need to talk. The wife means: I need to complain. The wife says: Sure... go ahead. The wife means: I don't want you to

To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?

Rainbows are just to look at, Not to understand!

If someones selling fish that are going "cheap" is that like someone selling birds that are going "bob"

Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers!

@thesaint170 hi Alan any chance a RT or a shout out for my new page?

Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime! Wow.

@BullyBoy180 done mate! I think! Lol

@JPipe180 go on then, how?

Howd you Check the spelling of a Word in the dictionary if you dont know how to spell it!

@denisovens your mrs might leave you for "a little puff" lol

Having dinner in Lpool, just had "the flaming dragon curry" the bloke looked worried when i ordered. SMASHED IT! Hey curry, u dont know me!