sherlock dimmadome

I wish I had prescription glasses so I could dramatically put them on to log a movie on Letterboxd

Went into the office today and they informed me I was going to be hunted for sport

ICE detained me for soliloquizing in Latin

Think I’m gonna get really into listening to music this year

a few, small beers

@fiilmzone Drive My Car

I love da pitt

Wasn’t gonna drink tonight then I watched Pig (2021) starring Nicholas Cage

pointing at my headphones and mouthing “audiobook” to all the attractive women on the train

@elonmusk you absolute clown why can’t I add new muted words

Nobody in this place knows I’m head chef at the Cracker Barrel

@HowardStern let them free, you are not a teacher, you are yourself consumed with greed

@Pookies_Picks 1-800-GAMBLER

Why can’t I bet CFB like I bet Puck??? Its an evil world we live in…

The demons in my head and gut have been holding me hostage from sleep for some time now, I have offered half a box of extra toasty cheezits to appease them. They are happy to receive extra toasty instead of original and have now released me to my slumber

GUYS…………IM NOT OK

this edit literally changed my life. twitter.com/dondraperz/sta…

starting my day off with a diet coke…..like omg girl did you even TRY to have a good day #FriYAY

@Space_b0y_ moms are the best

@theycallmegriff mama pho

help

@Space_b0y_ where are you getting soup from at ~1 am

someone just sent me $50 through the twitter tip option for soup thank you so much there are many beautiful people in this world. wow. im having soup

@butch__queen did it recognize your face? for me it keeps putting the blue box just somewhere on the wall then says I look like Giovanni Ribisi

I’m MAD