thisishaywardsheath

From the archive. Original radio ad for The Orchards launch in 1982 (maybe)

Reader Q: Will people think I’m common if I buy an air fryer? While not as common as the deep fat fryer, we’d prefer a semi-professional catering range or ‘Aga’. Nevertheless, the nanny may petition you for one to roast vegetables for the children. Acceptable if stored after use.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: Advent calendar musical extravaganza on the gram 👉 look for tihhdc

@Batsphinx @PaulTempleman6 @WHS_Carpet Majestic, though we favour more subtle tributes.

@PaulTempleman6 @WHS_Carpet One of yours @tihhdc ?

TRAVEL: You’re now up to date on the travel situation earlier this morning. sussexexpress.co.uk/news/transport…

This is a story about ducks sussexexpress.co.uk/news/environme…

@Carpervert @sniffpetrol Need to Ken Masters that blazer like he was Team Principal. Deep-V pastel Pringle, no shirt, gold necklace draped over tanned chest rug, pushed sleeves.

Have you listened with your ears to this week's #smithandsniff podoutcast yet? Me and @sniffpetrol address important matters like air drumming whilst driving, meeting game show hosts at a wake and the new Civic R. Also '90s F1 blazers. Also a live event. podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/pol…

HEAT WARNING: It will be hot in Haywards Heath this week, likely hotter than *please insert well known but exotic holiday destination before tweeting*, likely one or more degrees hotter than Burgess Hill. #heatwave

Currently enduring a reasonably priced semi-premium Waitrose granola shortage. #CostOfLivingCrisis

More BREAKING FISH BAR NEWS - Though we can’t reveal our sources (it was Google reviews) our undercover reporting team can report *exclusively* on the report of Google reviews of fish bars.

BREAKING NEWS - Apparently it’s possible to buy property for less than £400,000. We’re taking granny annexes right (or a Burgess Hill executive detached).

Dear @jamess55, The Orchards launch occupant was Finefare who pioneered the eco/germ friendly approach of allowing punters to scoop cereal out of bins the size of a medium child. Bejam was on the current Iceland site so freezer-specific & a soda-stream flagship retailer for years

TIHH EXCLUSIVE - we can reveal *as an exclusive to us* that our roving reporter can report that the Mid Sussex Times can report that some Google reviews report that a Haywards Heath fish bar made the top 6. midsussextimes.co.uk/business/here-…

@Batsphinx @richkidcampbell Sounds like a fantastic opportunity for Burgess Hill to showcase the very best of what it can offer. Not sure which episode I’m looking forward too most 'Not Dead Enough', 'Dead Man’s Footsteps' or 'Dead Tomorrow'.

Burgess Hill = Hollywood. Filming of new ITV Grace series to be in our derelict town centre! Eat your heart out @tihhdc! @richkidcampbell you will be delighted to hear we have an excellent Wetherspoons where you can sit between takes

We’ve always found the smart casual menswear of Broadbridges to be particularly non confrontational. You simple cannot hold a grudge against tweed. midsussextimes.co.uk/news/crime/pol…

@Batsphinx @RealPaulCallow @thebenoliver @rightmove @sussex_police FFS Ben...first rule of pétanque club....

@tihhdc @RealPaulCallow @thebenoliver @rightmove @sussex_police I was shocked that they didn't include a pétanque court when they built the new Waitrose. Why do they never think of the commuters?

Someone’s selling a house in Haywards Heath and when you click on the Street View link on their @rightmove listing this is what you see

@Batsphinx @RealPaulCallow @thebenoliver @rightmove @sussex_police Our sources tell us it was that *or* an in-house wine bar but not both. Don’t ever mention this on the taxi rank, most drivers are still livid about the decision.

@Batsphinx @RealPaulCallow @thebenoliver @rightmove @sussex_police It’s a training exercise for future deployment to Burgess Hill. Also, we’d probably resin gravel the drive, zone with some reclaimed sleeper raised beds, an avenue of french lavender to the entrance and if space allowed add a pétanque court. The Icaro S10 would have to go.

@RealPaulCallow @thebenoliver @rightmove @sussex_police @tihhdc fyi

@Owain_LW The League of Friends cafe also serve excellent cakes.

@tihhdc duly awaiting comment.

We’ve been recycling this exclusive Haywards Heath Advent Calendar for 19 years. If you like Shakin’ Stevens, it’s worth finding a way to still play a web site with flash on it. You’re welcome 🎄👇 thisishaywardsheath.com/advent.htm