Tim

Totally worth it! 💅🏻

Search is full of ads and wrong answers. Every other email is an ad. Prime Video charges you and shows ads. Paramount? Ads. Peacock? YouTube? Hulu? Ads followed by more ads. Netflix full of ads. Meta and X, every other thing is an ad. Pinterest is nothing but ads. AI is in everything. AI finishes sentences incorrectly and won’t stop. AI reads your email and search history to target you with more ads. Every time you open an app or visit a site there’s an update making it worse. In a hurry? First, click here to agree to terms you don’t have time to read and must accept. You need an account to do that. Change your temporary password. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email and enter that code. Now use a passkey. Your password is too simple to remember. Change it. No, not like that. Now log on. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email for a code… Welcome back! We’ve updated our terms of service and privacy policy (you have none). Subscribe to the site. Subscribe to Netflix. Subscribe to toilet paper. Subscribe to these groceries. Pay a membership fee for the right to subscribe then tip your driver who delivers the subscriptions your membership lets you subscribe to. Time to work? We’ve got to update your laptop and will slow down everything you do until you agree to update. But first, click here to agree. Update installed — your laptop’s broken now. It doesn’t matter, since your boss just replaced you with AI. Go to your phone to complain on social media. Wait, your phone needs an update so we can add more AI. Click here. Oh sorry, your phone can’t handle this update. Now it’s useless. Go get the newest phone. Here’s a text from a friend, an email, a voice mail they left three days ago but you didn’t see until now because of sync problems with the cloud. It’s their GoFundMe. Their MLM. Their Patreon. Never mind, you didn’t respond to their text within 9 minutes and now you’re no longer friends. They blocked you. Make new friends. Download this app to find people in your area. In your neighborhood. On your street. Two doors down from you. Do you know this person yet, we think you’d get along. You need an account to use this app. That username is taken. Enter a password. Not that one, you used it on another site. You need to be connected to WiFi to download the app. Allow the app to connect to other devices on your network. Allow the app to access your contacts, know your precise location, store your credit card details. Oops, sorry, we got hacked now all that info is available on the web. There’s a class action suit. You can join. It’ll take a decade to get your $3.73 share of the ten billion settlement. We’ll send it via PayPal or deposit it to your bank, just tell us those details. Oh no, another hack. That info is circulating now, too. Here’s a spam call, a spam email, a spam text. Why are you angry? Why are you talking about getting rid of your phone? Why don’t you like AI, it lets us make all of this easier? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? This is progress. You’ll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind? Do you???

I do not want to follow your dog’s Instagram account 💋

29 years ago, Jon Voight winked at JLo after being thrown up by the anaconda in 'Anaconda'

i think a thing we dont talk enough about is that ryan coogler is hot as hell

I wish they had kept the reveal that the second half of the game takes place in the rubble of Racoon City a mystery so this title card hit 100 times harder. #RE9

the way we haven’t had another poison ivy live-action in almost 30 years is diabolical

どんな #ポケモン会えるかな ？ #ポケモン30周年 #PR @poke_times

Firewatch is my favourite indie game of all time, it’s devastating that Campo Santo was acquired by Valve and never got to create another video game.

thank you fortnite for giving chappell roan a gun

Okay but actually happy new year you guys … happy new year you guys try saying that 5 times fast!

heated rivalry genuinely being a good show is so crazy

caught up on the gay hockey show and wow I feel like I could lift a car

"do you like using twitter?" does sisyphus like his boulder

Can’t wait until someone tweets “Elon is a pedophile with no friends” and it becomes a Certified Banger and they have to delete the whole thing

there’s not really much point in doing everything practically if you’re going to shoot it *like that*

@folklorde__ What! How did they fuck that up?

I have deleted all the gay apps, hoping to encounter future mates at watering holes or whilst foraging for food