Tim Cheng

I don't even care about my foot hanging off the bed anymore, come get me demons. Bring me home.

Waiting at McDonalds for 11:00 to hit so you can buy lunch instead of breakfast #firstworldproblems

If you're literally asking me to choose between our relationship and my career as a reporter well then I've got some news for you.

Eating an orange is just like drinking orange juice with maximum pulp. 🍊

Are lobsters mermaids to scorpions?

26.09.2015. - One of my best friends got married last night and it was pretty awesome... CLEARLY!!! 😍… instagram.com/p/8JOEB6NOhQ/

What if sleeping is our natural state, and we only wake up to acquire new ideas for our dreams?

Fire trucks are actually water trucks.

And God said to John, "Come forth and receive eternal life," but John came in fifth and won a toaster.

The coffee and smartphone are the modern day version of the cigarette and newspaper.

They are testing the resourcefulness of my inner 90s child from my pre-Internet days. They will not win. #grabsapuzzle

Internet and TV are down in my house. Must. Not. Panic. #thanksTELUS

sleep goals 😴 @ mah bed instagram.com/p/5G9GrWNOvP/

There are only 2 days in your lifetime that are not 24 hours long. O_O

Do fish know they're wet?

The Devil does not come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.

Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.

It's beginning to look a lot like #Christmas ❄❄❄ #ChristmasTree #winter #yyc #HappiestTimeOfTheYear… instagram.com/p/wIfELdNOm7/

I've never gone skydiving, but I have zoomed in on Google Earth really fast. @googlemaps #rebel

Got @ShaniaTwain on the brain today!!! #ImGunnaGetchaGood