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Food for thought: 🤔
"By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you will be happy. If you get a bad one, you will become a philosopher."
- Socrates -
English
TheArtist 🔴⚪
40.2K posts
TheArtist 🔴⚪
@tinx_ted
Search my soul and you'll find kindness, love, empathy and compassion, toned up with a little bit of humor.
Planet Earth Katılım Haziran 2020
929 Takip Edilen928 Takipçiler
@FIsaac254 @FAITHdfi ...itaroll hadi mbele kwa jukwaa la pastor joh! 🤣
Filipino
If having sex for money makes you a hoe.. does having sex for free make you a non-profit whoreganization🤔
English
My wife is turning 32 next Monday...
I’ve told her not to get her hopes up for her birthday.
“After all,” I said, “The celebrations are only going to last half a minute.”
“What are you talking about?” she asked.
I said, “It’s your thirty-second birthday.”
English
Martha went to see her doctor because she was worried about her husband, Frank. She said he didn’t seem to have the same romantic spark he used to.
The doctor handed her a small pill and said, “This is experimental. Just slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner and see what happens.”
That evening, Martha did exactly what the doctor said. Not five minutes after dinner started, Frank suddenly jumped up from the table.
He swept the plates and silverware onto the floor, grabbed Martha, and tore her clothes off. Right there on the dining table, he showed more passion than he had in years.
The next week Martha returned to the doctor smiling.
“Doc, that pill worked better than you can imagine!”
She explained how the night went.
The doctor said, “Oh my! I’m sorry about that. The research foundation will gladly pay for any damages.”
Martha waved her hand and said, “Oh that’s alright… we weren’t planning on going back to that restaurant anyway.”
English
I got stuck in an elevator the other day.
When I got home and told my son, he asked,
“So… did you make it out?”
It was then that I decided it might be time to start spending his inheritance. 😅
English
Don't try this at home because your man might be a Munyankore
English
loved @ladybirdbooks growing up
"Go fuck yourself Enid and tell you fella Bob to get fucked to, Betty at number 23 is always open"
English
My wife leaned in close and whispered, “Talk dirty to me.”
So I leaned in and softly said, “Laundry… kitchen… living room… bathroom…”
Doctor said I will be able to walk again in about 2 months. 🙏🏻
English
My wife just phoned me, and said, “You know that Gladiator movie that I got you for Christmas many years ago?”
Me: “Yeah”
Her: “Fast forward one hour, 16 minutes and 28 seconds”
Me: “Ok, now what?”
Her: “You see the gladiator at the front fighting the lion?”
Me: “I can see that, yeah”
Her: “Just behind him, there are two gladiators having a sword fight with each other”
Me: “Okay, I see them”
Her: “Well, behind those two, on the left-hand side of the screen, there’s a gladiator holding a spear”
Me: “Yes, I can see him”
Her: “Right! Those are the sandals I want for my birthday”
English
@jalirabagi ...well, that makes her the chief marital adviser instead. 😂🤭
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Is it legal for a man to marry his widow’s sister?
English
Sister Sara was sitting by her convent window one evening as she opened a letter from home: Inside the letter was a $100 note from her parents.
Sister Sara smiled but as she continued to read the letter by what was left of the last glimmers of daylight coming through her window, she noticed a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against a lamp post in the street below.
Quickly she took a piece of paper and wrote, "Don't despair - Sister Sara". She then wrapped the $100 note in it and having got the man's attention, she tossed the wrapped note out of the window to him. The stranger picked it up and read what was on the paper. He looked up, tipped his hat and slowly made his way down the street and into the darkness. Meanwhile, Sister Sara returned to her letter hoping he would use the money wisely.
The following day, Sister Sara was told that there was a man at the main door of the convent insisting that he should see her, so she made her way down the stairs to see what the commotion was all about. True enough, she found the stranger, who she had last seen standing in the street, waiting for her. Without a word, he handed her an envelope stuffed full with $100 notes.
“What's this?" she asked.
“It's your winnings Sister," he replied,
“Don't Despair came in at 80-to-1."
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