Theresa Messina

In case you’re wondering what heaven looks like

one thing i love about the legendary miss britney spears is the divorce rumors will be absolutely flying and she’s on instagram like

changing twitters name is crazy because it’s literally engraved into our culture. like when someone says something i agree with i physically say “retweet” insane energy to change that

This is my wet dream

@calithevirgo Lmfaooooo

JDs when a black person (me) walks in

do you ever look at your student loans and just be like damn! that’s really there!

i hope they make new barney a polyamorous trans lesbian just for you brigitte

The King has ~spoken~

the only pain I wanna feel this year is from the gym

One time I went to a male gynecologist for issues with pain during sex and instead of examining me, he said “why don’t you just try relaxing and having a glass of wine before intercourse” we have to do better when it comes to educating men in healthcare.

Why I’ll be disappointing people in 2023 and you should too:

Introverts be like: 11:00 am - anything is possible 2:00 pm - but not today

what if it’s not a chemical imbalance and im actually just a kooky quirky goofy girl and i’m doing a bit

ME DADS A MUGGLE. MAMS A WITCH.

I don’t care what movie/show/mini series it is. The bestie romance plot always beats the physical romance plot.

[thanksgiving] ME: so basically Pete Davidson having a big dick is just PR and women going through a divorce who need a branding change have been “dating” him to rehab their image. See: Kim Kardashian, EmRata, etc MY GRANDPA: i was in a war

You either date Pete Davidson or have a baby with Nick Cannon. Those are the only two life paths for women

forgive yourself for all the unhealthy habits u picked up on when u were in survival mode.

Don’t ignore the red flags

good morning corporate emos, another day another dollar for band merch