toddxtizzle

@DudespostingWs “MLB player”.

MLB player lays down a perfect bunt

Watch out, Jack might cancel the whole movie and stop talking to Charlie.

@NetflixIsAJoke At what point of the show will he force someone to watch him jerk off?

JUST ANNOUNCED: Louis C.K. will perform his first-ever Hollywood Bowl show during #NetflixisaJokeFest and release a new stand-up special on Netflix this summer. Tickets available today at 11:30am PT with presale code RIDICULOUS at netflixisajokefest.com

@Antunes1 Oh he’s just a dumbass. Cool.

The new Acting Attorney General 🤡 Todd Blanche: We’re not going to prosecute the predators in the Epstein files or release their names to the public.

@WooSox Do you have any good ones of the field? Love this stadium so much.

Freshen up your wallpaper 😊

@Variety This that cancel culture everyone is always complaining about?

Louis C.K. is returning to Netflix with a new stand-up special, “Ridiculous,” set to premiere this summer. He will also headline the Hollywood Bowl on May 5 as part of the Netflix Is a Joke Fest. variety.com/2026/tv/news/l…

@Retailiated Dammit

@toddxtizzle Nope.

It’s crazy how many women on dating apps brag that they are very mean and I don’t understand it at all.

Do you HAVE to have really bad black and grey sleeve tattoos in order to be a Major League Baseball player? Is that a rule?

@RobSchneider Haha you are such an unbelievable moron.

“Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.” - John F. Kennedy We must once again recommit ourselves to one Nation under God, indivisible. Therefore, we must restore the military draft for our Nation’s young people. Each and every American, at eighteen years of age, must serve two years of military service. They could also choose to serve part of that time overseas or in country in a volunteer capacity. Being a citizen of the United States gives us unparalleled Freedoms and opportunities that are the envy of the world. However, these Freedoms that we cherish do not come without a cost. By protecting and preserving these Freedoms, young people, regardless of race, creed or religion will be united in service to their country and just as importantly, to each other. Many Nations around the world require their young citizens to serve their country. Until recently, our Nation did as well. This would serve many purposes in our society; We would have all of our young men and women put into a rigorous physical training course that they could use for the rest of their lives, we would always have a standing army ready at all times including for domestic problems like natural disasters. Unlike in today’s Universities, our young people will learn how truly great their country is and how unique and incredible are the Freedoms that this Nation bestows upon them. Service is a solemn reminder of the men and women before them who “paid the last full measure of devotion” so that we may enjoy these Freedoms. Also, very importantly, we would have in service every segment of our society represented so that our elected officials would be more hesitant and not cavalier about sending their own sons and daughters off to a faraway war unless it was truly in our Nation’s interests. This discussion and implementation must begin. To the young people of America, this is your country and your future. We will leave this great and Free Nation in your good hands for your children and for your children’s children. God Bless the United States of America! Love, Rob Schneider

I really dislike the goddamn ads on the arms of the jerseys. They’re so tacky. That mass mutual one is so big and ugly.

My time has come.

Fuck Netflix.

@wolfiecomedy Cystopher Nolan

About to get a cyst removed, what should I name it?

@Retailiated I’m glad you get it. Haha it’s so weird. Just say DC if it’s one stop. Not east coast.

@toddxtizzle Relatable. "Midwest" is sometimes just Chicago.

When a band says they have an east coast tour coming, and it’s just one fucking DC show? Get a grip.

@ohhierica Me too! Haha luckily my artist rarely takes breaks if at all.

@toddxtizzle Same 😂 sometimes my artist does and in my head I’m like “please be quick” 😭

eighteen deep and I’ve never had a snack when being tattooed. Should I be having snacks!?

@ohhierica Exactly! I never wanna take breaks haha

@toddxtizzle Me too 😅 I eat something before hand and then I just want to sit and push through with as little stopping as possible lol

Chuck Norris has passed away at the age of 86.