alisson

@mattakersmusic I had a little boyfriend in first grade, he was the coolest kid in class. He wore a bootleg shirt in our class photo that had Bart dressed as soldier and shooting a gun into Saddam's head that was resting on a barrel of oil lmao

One of my favorite things working with vintage toys is getting in all the insane desert storm shit aimed at kids

Kevin Durant and Dillon Brooks before and after Durant fried him: Brooks:“You got two points, you can’t f*ck with me man” *Durant drops Brooks* Durant: “get your b*tch a** up. p*ssy” 😂 Via @legendz_prod

Man, I still hate some of KD's behavior this year but oh my word I can't stop laughing at this. I know he was TICKLED.

@richhomiekhan If I were a neurosurgeon...

I retract this. With a different neurosurgeon today and nirvana “rape me” just played

The full playlist for Christina Hendrick's four-hour "Shoe Pop Dream Gaze" DJ set: "Broken Heart" – Spiritualized "Yes (Love Theme From Lost River)" – Chromatics "Drink I'm Sippin On" – Yaeji "Hug Of Thunder" – Broken Social Scene "How Can I Make It Ok?" – Wolf Alice "New Song" – Warpaint "Pa Pa Power" – Dead Man's Bones "Machinist" – Japanese Breakfast "Michael Mann" – Youth Team "Heartbeats" – The Knife "Thunder" – Catnapp "Ivo" – Cocteau Twins "Joseph Porter" – The Deadly Syndrome "The Birds" – Rick Cuevas "I Do You" – Anna of the North "Cruel Summer" – Bananarama "The Day We Met Never Ended for Me" – Talvi "Crazy For You" – Causeway "Los Ageless" – St. Vincent "The Judge" – Desire "Waxwing" – Sorry "Dance While You Shoot" – Noga Erez "Ghost" – Halsey "Boys of Summer" – Esper Star "West Coast" – Lana Del Rey "Hell Is Round The Corner" – Tricky; Martina Topley-Bird "Gooey" – Glass Animals "(The Forgotten People)" – Thievery Corporation "God" – Tori Amos "The Ghost Inside" – Broken Bells; Danger Mouse "She Bangs the Drums" – The Stone Roses "I Did It!" – Kitten "Can I Call You in the Morning?" – The Beaches "Heavy Metal Heart" – Sky Ferreira "Horse Pills" – The Dandy Warhols "Lover I Don't Have to Love" – Bright Eyes "Velvet Morning" – The Verve "Love Is a Big Light" – The Stevenson Ranch Davidians "In The Morning I'll Be Better" – Tennis "Girl Of The Year" – Beach House "Rescue" – The Asteroid No.4 "Vapour Trail" – Ride "First Love/Late Spring" – Mitski "Crazy for You" – Slowdive "Half Silences" – Loma "Waiting Game" – BANKS 📸: Phillip Gutgesell / The MAT Magazine

My grandma told me this story with such a disgusted tone lol, called her "puta descalza"

She ran away as a teen & lost her shoes at some point. The priest from her church saw her shoeless on the street & took her home. On Sunday after, the priest told everyone and kept talking about her dirty ass feet and how he was similar to Jesus for wanting to wash them lmao

@mike_c_sharp Damn I gotta rewatch, cause my strongest memory of it other than this is that the trailer for it was on my Batman Forever VHS. Oh and I remember thinking Joey Lauren Adams was a babe, as I did in every film of hers during this era

@too_lewd Amazing. Side note: I love this movie despite William hurt maybe being the worst romantic lead possible in it. Like how are you NOT going to have chemistry with McDowell?

This just uncovered a lost memory for me. I saw this film in the theater with my mom, and I remember crying when it started. She asked me, a young lover of Saturday Night Fever, what I was crying for and I said through sobs "cause he's fat now"

What if Pam Bondi’s husband has even bigger tits

The funniest part about what Kristi Noem's husband did is that he only went that far. Where's the makeup, the cute top, the hair? If you wanna be a bimbo you gotta commit! The knockers aren't selling the full fantasy, sir!

just paid $5 to photobucket to recover my personal photos of Fergie peeing her pants at the 2005 san diego street scene music festival

It's 2009 and Tiger Woods is involved in an unfortunate automotive incident. It's 2017 and Tiger Woods is involved in an unfortunate automotive incident. It's 2021 and Tiger Woods is involved in an unfortunate automotive incident. It's 2026 and Tiger Woods is involved in an un

It’s crazy what Israel is allowed to do because they’re a white country and they’re doing the rest of the white world a solid by taking care of the brown countries that have been a thorn in the side of the “west” for centuries

@druski This is the scariest shit I’ve seen yet !

I can easily maintain my household with a modest staff of eleven, plus my eunuch.

I was gonna buy some really cool fish with that $4000.....

they owe me $4000. I do NOT want to file this year while still waiting on my fucking money!!!!!

the IRS took 11 months to get to my paper return. I had to file paper cause of an electric vehicle tax credit. They sent me a letter today saying the dealership never sent the form they were supposed to, so now I am back at the end of the line & will have to wait another year lol