tori smith

“Where’s Beyoncé?”

“he isn’t even following the theme” #metgala

Back to work tomorrow

I can’t explain it, but he looks exactly like an ingrown hair

I can tell ur ass went to Jupiter to get more stupider

Chicago Marie Illinois, ima need you to make up your mind on this weather girl

The gunshot was actually just Bryon Noem’s breasts rapidly deflating

me and somebody’s dad at work

shazamed a great song and it’s by sombr

british people ate with "are you having a laugh"

You gotta watch people that eat SUN CHIPS, real mfking closely.

Today’s theme

justin bieber is having gay guy music video night with all of us

*getting ready to pay for my oil change* Mechanic: we also noticed tha- Me:

My biggest problem is that I always have something to buy

I ask for Coke and they tell me they don’t have any

My wife after I mess up her matcha order x.com/BarnHasSpoken2…

Tweet of the day, so far.

Saw ICE officers at O’Hare and they were short and ugly.

they don’t make animations like this anymore💔