Betch

All pleasures are guilty pleasures if you have enough anxiety.

Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Drinking Game: take a sip every time someone says triggered

I’m aging like a fine avocado.

Is it still called trauma dumping if I like literally have nothing else to talk about 🙃

‘oh I know a spot’ *drops date off at therapy*

I used to think I was indecisive, now I’m not sure.

I just realized I more fully learned the Thriller dance via @JenniferGarnerr in 13 Going on 30 than from the actual music video 👯‍♀️ #30andflirtyandthriving

When I said I like it rough, I didn’t mean my entire life

I always subtract 10 pounds from my weight on the scale to account for boobs and hair. #girlmath

2020: need a mask to go inside 2023: need a mask to go outside #nyc #smoke

Thinking of getting my Mom therapy for Mothers Day, a little passive aggressive but hey, like mother like daughter 💁🏼‍♀️ #MotherDay

My therapist calling their therapist the second I leave their office

Me: I really want to take a trip My Bank Account: I strongly recommend it be a trip to work

Apparently I’m just here for a long time, not a good time.

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

@AvosFromMexico Did you guys end up announcing winners yet? 🥑 🤩✨

@totalbetchmove Your doggo would loooove this bed. 😍 Keep sharing it for a chance to win and bring the goodness home! #SparkTheGood #SXSW #Sweepstakes bit.ly/HOGSXSW

Everyone under 40 watching the Chris Rock Special on Netflix right now #crickets #ChrisRock

Does anyone else have a video that they know would be their go-to if they were a big actor and had a crying scene to get the tears flowing? Mine is the @bastille music video with iCarley and the Golden Retriever @MirandaCosgrove #dogsarethebestpeople

Is there a word in any other language for ‘because you asked me, the answer left my head’? Like, someone asks you your favorite actor and the name Jason Momoa immediately leaves your brain.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather have a pizza than a dozen roses from you. #FoodBeforeDudes