a potato

Unreal

“And babe, they have a real lizard *in* the restaurant”

I wish I could get behind the “I beat cancer” frame. I did things, other people did things, and I mostly just got lucky (aside from the getting cancer part.) But most importantly, it’s more like “risk of relapse fades over the next few years, but you never know!”

@hola_spanky The way I just fell back in my chair

*forgetting The Kardashians is a reality show* me: i wish the writers would just kill off kourtney

If you know that you are supposed to be “on mute”, why are some of you not doing so? 🤔

"There was no organization, no money, no cohesive, clear messaging,” said Ohio GOP operative Bob Kish. "It was a mess. It was like the Titanic.” New from me on Issue 1's defeat & what it could mean for the future of the Buckeye State. (unlocked!) nationaljournal.com/s/722402/ohio-…

Excited to announce that I'm the new brand ambassador for @Neopets! My family and I have been long time fans of the game, and I can’t wait for you to experience it too. Looking forward to more adventures together!

They took my freakin’ kidney.

I need miley cyrus to re-release 7 things so nick jonas can catch some heat too!!!!!

the ideal walkable city

lizzo watching beyoncé say her name on stage. that's the tweet.

RT if u know why Ohio doesn't have enough college grads

In this cave once lived a truly vile and terrifying creature that put fear into the hearts of many a brave medieval knight. I dare not speak the monster's name, but if you know it, you know. ;)

@mayygg Best barstool bar finalists who?????

brick is screaming, crying, throwing up

@mynameIfollow …. Apparently not when OSU is on a bye

Don’t these people have better things to do like get real

It only took them [checks notes] 55 days, 17 hours, and roughly 25 minutes to delete this

Who knew we’d all be thanking Kourtney Kardashian for helping Travis Barker overcome his flight anxiety and ultimately ENABLING the first Blink 182 ‘World Tour’ in 10+ years. The last time he toured in Europe he arrived by boat like a cholera riddled missionary from 1900.