MOASS

@mountaindewbyok 100% end of world date

need a date 17 months from now for the premiere of shrek 5

@kaitduffy Old fashioned?

Let me cook🥃

Money might not bring you happiness but it sure can combat the things that make you sad.

@cctvidiots A trillion what? Bees??

You can only choose one.

If your life was a book would you read it?

@InternetH0F 27 + 50 = 77 77-2= 75 I feel like I just started doing this tho

How do you do it?

Tweets should now be called Xcerpts

@elonmusk The candles I buy come in 12-24 packs so we at least have a dozen or 2 out there

The scariest answer to the Fermi Paradox is that there are no aliens at all. They we are the only tiny candle of consciousness in an abyss of darkness.

Some of the toughest people you know need at least 3 pillows to sleep at night

Technology you can’t even imagine in 200 years will be nostalgic for people in 220 years

I wonder who drew the first heart as ❤️. They were way off.

@InternetH0F 3/4 of their toothbrush bristles

go for it

@LibertyCappy Sure. If people didn’t get murdered for decades wanting to do that. There would be no flag necessary.

Sometimes you gotta watch Twister at 12:30 in the mornin’

When life gives you lemons just be like “holy shit I’m alive and somehow I’ve got some lemons.”

Sometimes you think you know where life is leading you. Then you get M. Night Shyamalaned

This is the 2nd girlfriend in a row that has to sleep with the tv on and I’m about to smash my bedroom tv into a thousand pieces

If your name is Willis you’ve gotta be extra careful not to misspeak

I love you is just something you say when you’re afraid of losing someone. And that’s love.

@skatie420 For some reason I thought you were like 7ft tall