tʀiciɑ

Guy at the liquor store asked me for directions. Like I just bought a 2 liter of wine for $9, you think I got a good sense of direction?

@NoahKahan I wish I was willing and able to pull myself out of bed, but alas.

So… how do we feel

Noah Kahan reading publications say the album is too long knowing he has a whole double/deluxe album up his ass that he’s literally about to announce

TIKTOK IS DOWN AND ITS BEDTIME. THIS IS AN EMERGENCY

I don’t know what’s going on but in 2025 I want to make more money, learn how to read tarot cards, and maybe pick up a cigarette smoking habit.

I had no idea so much of my adult life would be spent actively convincing my parents to not to give their information to scam websites🫣

The way I know that my ex only watches my stories on Instagram because otherwise he would never know where to get new music.

Women will literally get on antidepressants to stay in a relationship instead of recognizing that it’s toxic. I was women.

Global warming has had a surprisingly great effect on my seasonal depression👍

You’re not “self aware” if you’re only noticing your shortcomings. You’re a biased critic.

You’re most qualified to help the type of person you once were.

@cr0codiletearz Baby preach

i lied, put your clothes back on. we’re going to talk about how concern over food dyes and ingredients is a pipeline to becoming a right wing conspiracy theorist.

Bernie will always be the one who got away for me.

I might have libbed too close to the sun but I thought some of yall men had us, and you don’t.

I hope your daughters are okay and I hope their daughters are okay and I hope somewhere in the country you’re still allowed to choose whether or not you have to have a child at all.

@NoahKahan That’s imposter syndrome babe.

What’s it called when you only do things well when it’s totally by accident? I have a chronic case of whatever that is

@SalVulcano do you know you’re trending on TikTok right now, babe?

I actually do know who needs to hear this but as a general note.. if you like or respond to my stories, and you got a wife at home…. Imma tell. I will not protect you. Imma tell.

You made Dick Cheney vote against his own party…. DICK CHENEY… Is that not enough for some of yall to realize you’re in a cult? lollol