theo🎾

life improved when i realized i am a genius who responds very poorly to pressure of any kind 😌

@_lesleymarie_ normalize airline literacy

flight attendant keeps saying “welcome to american eagle” and i just know she’s going to wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night when she realizes

@lexlisbon less spandex

What's the science behind looking more tea in a bra and underwear than in a bikini

u get what u want just in a strange order

@arshia__ the L train really does produce the best and worst 4 minutes of people's lives

can’t explain it but the dream of 2006 is alive in Union Square. iPod touch ahh place

i’m just going to find my bliss and live in delusion ☝️😌

the tennis permit guys in nyc are my own person villains but they’re also such undercover angels once you’ve repeatedly cat called them

seeing monogamous old straight couples on vacation and knowing their love had no chance in the wild if they had to re-do everything from scratch in bushwick like some sort of bad game show

waaait if u mow down a Waymo how tf do u exchange insurance info??

danny trejo in a wegovy commercial is a crime. let the man be omg

2016 attractiveness gap relationship

I rebuke you lowkey

@Wendys okay 23 yr old marketing person

these new Tendys I need em right now

@ilovetopiss 1920s and the 2020s same thing fr

Told my dad about my boyfriend he said "does he have land?" We are in 1920s?????

@t_sadiity soooooo delete it

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

y do i feel like they banned vaping on planes kinda just to be mean

@Focus_MX @Caol_MacCormaic DOLLAR STORE.. oh honey. this ain’t that kinda pan

@Caol_MacCormaic A trip to a Dollar store and get a new one. Scrubbing time end effort will not yield good results. Carry on…

that pan’s clean

@Caol_MacCormaic barkeepers tbh

waiting for valet when ur not rich is so humbling

faye webster rips in a waymo