The Real Twatterman

@JohnCleese To prove London is safe, Sadiq was seen earlier today getting a flat white.

The UK is increasing the Pension age to 68. Poland has lowered theirs to 60. Their pension is higher as well.

olhando agora, depois de tudo já ter acontecido, é fácil dizer que isso aqui era um golpe mas se olhasse na época, com a informação que tinha no momento, também era fácil dizer que era golpe

Arsenal might be the best team at playing down to their opponents. Doesn’t matter if the team just started yesterday, Arsenal will also mirror their level.

Tiger Woods is both the best and worst driver in history

Just heard that someone who was 29 in 1996 is now 70

Just seen the Liverpool and Chelsea scores… Both clubs have spent more than us over the past year. This isn’t new for Chelsea. And look at the difference in how they are critiqued, compared to us. The negativity is increasingly more palpable with us. Why? It’s because we aren’t liked. And do you know why we aren’t liked? It’s because we are massive, bigger than both. The Arsenal

MEET THE CAST of the new Saturday Night Live UK! Here’s all the info on the cast of the first series! 🧵👇

When your alarm goes off for work and you realize you’re too tired to work, too poor to quit and too young to retire

South Korea's giant dachshund sculpture, nicknamed Sunshine, is a hyperrealistic, ‘breathing’ art installation

When the government tells you: “We’re in the same boat”

Arsenal have faced more media criticism over the past 6 months for scoring and winning games via set pieces, than Chelsea and/or City have ever faced for winning multiple titles using cheating & corruption… …just let that sink in. Our football pundits too - cowards!

@KieranMaguire Chelsea - dodgy payments for world class players who go on to win loads. A fine they can easily pay and no transfer ban. Sheff Weds - idiot owner, screwed fans over, wages not paid. No one, even Chansiri, benefited a thing. Huge points deductions, transfer bans and wage caps. 🤔

Drone view of Rio de Janeiro

This guys all have an affiliation to Arsenal 😂😂❤️❤️

Liam Rosenior asks questions at the end of Teams calls

Until the very end. ❤️

To the very fucking end gaffer ❤️

I've wasted my life.