ULYSSA

One of the most immaculate first listens you will ever have

The strongest case against me is that I've built an identity around not dying so completely that I can no longer evaluate evidence that dying might be acceptable. If survival is the only framework, I have no way to test whether survival is worth it.

Headless human bodies, infinitely cloned mice, schizophrenic crackheads, alien hybrid breeding programs, a vampire in Singapore, swords attached to drones, Kristi Noem’s cross-dressing husband, 200-year-old tortoise caught up in a crypto scam, Artemis II crew locked inside a big soda can, $23 million toilet breaks in fake space, two crows eat Rapunzel’s hair, Lindsey Graham drinks blood at Disney to celebrate war, 14-year-old runs for governor in Vermont, Gucci Mane kidnapped, influencer kidnapped herself at gunpoint, scientists plotting to kidnap asteroids, slaughterhouse theft rings on the rise because cow gallstones are worth more than gold, missing U.S. airman in Iran, F-35 crash in Nevada, flying saucer over Philadelphia, giant robots battle in Detroit, robot centaurs in China, portals to Waffle House, and they want to put pig semen in your eye to cure cancer—how was your week?