ry

marketplace grail i found today

i went to bed 4 different times last night

let’s swing with mama

septum ring stink is my guilty pleasure

your girl gonna be at your funeral w the guy she’s cracking

migos was my one direction

we need to bring back the word barf

white people be like my dogs on a diet

white people be like can i bring my service dog to the bar

my bubble is not yours to burst

white people be like yeah i got way too drunk with my parents

cracker barrel be selling anything

turning the tip screen towards them after sex

i’m gonna lose 20 pounds and sell my body online

asked my coworker if he ever had his balls stepped on and he said “not yet” #iwasjoking #watdatmean

if youre too invested in how youre being perceived you begin to put on an act that will make your soul rot inside of you

Your honor I was just overly going that day

taking a poop test for a job

Stop checking your phone every 2 mins no one is in love with you

fushigi was the original gloving