molly

i wish i was a dog so i could go outside and eat grass whenever my tummy hurts

asked bf if he ever fucked with alvin & the chipmunks covers of songs when he was younger and he said “no” and i said “that shit was like solid gold to me”

I’m the DJ at your sister’s baby shower and I’m really bad at it

The first trailer for ‘COYOTE VS ACME’ has been released. In theaters on August 28.

i get one beer in me and i’m like Let’s Watch The Eric Andre Show When They Bring On Jack McBrayer

declaring See You Again as my karaoke song from now til i die

nyc is the easiest city in the world to live in if you're nice to people and a little weird looking

i’m a freak i’m a weirdo (eating all the butterfingers from the candy bowl at my job)

i was lowkey born to do improv

trains are not scheduled due to TRACK MAINTENANCE

i think abt this tweet all the time

this picture is hard asf oh my god lmao

She came out of retirement to celebrate black art don’t piss me off

2003 vs 2026 — Javier Bardem. Two decades later, the courage to speak up remains.

me at Maya Rudolph’s Oh Mary

at a bachelorette weekend teaching the girls about misandry & green tea shots

broke my thumb trying to do a coffee grinder

pooping at the club

rob schneider on my flight this morning