Retarded Mom

A man was naked in my daughter's bed he said that he was poor and had no clothes

My son is always working on his art, he always has glue on his pants

My daughter told me she wants to do a blowjob on her boyfriend , I told her study hard and get a better job

My son can be so clumsy sometimes. I heard him say he broke his girlfriend's hymen!

My daughter must have a Biology project cause I found a pregnancy test in the bathroom.

My daughter always tells her boyfriend that she's dripping wet. Should I get her a towel?

My daughter told me that she likes to play with herself in her room. I need to find her some more friends!

My daughter was talking about blowing, she must be playing the clarinet again.

My daughter really wants a pet, I heard her talking with her boyfriend about doggie style.

My daughter is always talking about getting the D ... She better pull her grades up or she will be grounded.

My son's girlfriend is very religious, every time I walk into his room she's on her knees!

My daughter's Facebook status said "sext me ;)" ... so I commented "you spelled "text" wrong"

I heard my son is a Big "Drug Dealer"....I wonder what pharmacy he works at!