Victor Foster

Ernest Hemingway chose his own time to go – on one hand that is admirable

Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them but I wouldn't want to own one.

When you become senile you won't know it.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back!

Why should an audience applaud when the chef adds garlic to his recipes?

If a relationship has to be a secret you shouldn't be in it.

I love Bar-B-Que and potato salad.

Gray used to be the most popular car color; I do not know what it is today

Gin & Tonic is a great drink.

I admire guys that come up with unique cool names like Fritos.

Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Carne tartar is a good dish

Guys usually forget how to cry they should not

When you become senile you won't know it.

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

Ah the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

Why should an audience applaud when the chef adds garlic to his recipes?

Start every day with a smile and get it over with.