William Guppy

Every man's philosophy is perfect, though it lacks the vocabulary, the system and the intelligence to articulate itself.

Not a single person who's "interested in Spain," has ever done anything, surest sign of a weak mind, especially in men

I often like to imagine that I have a wife and child in England that I have abandoned.

If the great comicalist does not write, his humour disembogues into cracked channels. Mourn not the victims of the Rapist Prince, but rather that he forgot to laugh; mourn instead the comic novel he never writ.

@e_goeth Bonne chance.

Excited to wake up in the morning because today marks the official start of the 2026 Omelette Challenge. A self-imposed challenge where I force myself to make a new omelette every day or I will have to k*** myself. Day 1 will be Omelette aux Champignons

Beyond the superficialities of nationhood, physical appearances, and notions of animal rights, there is nothing which separates me from any man or woman on this planet. Converse with me, my sio-brother or sister, in plain English, then. Or Esperanto 𝘴𝘦 𝘷𝘪 𝘣𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘰𝘭𝘶.

The lad looked blankly from his room And went to draw the curtain shut, Indiffferent toward my gloom. And so I called: "Your mum's a slut".

"It swells," I said, "with vague regret; "With things that cannot be undone "With things I want, but couldn't get "And fading memories of fun."

The Mrs. says I'm not to shout Obscenities at the neighbour's kid. "My head abounds," I told the lout "With words unsaid, and things undid."

@cremieuxrecueil @AStratelates The poor man isn't even capable of correct adjectival agreement in his own language.

Venezuelan Uber driver doesn't speak English, so we muddled through a conversation where he was telling me that he hated Venezuela and Iran. "Venezuela malo!"

Rob Pointon.

Writing a novel is too much work. Instead, in order to immortalise yourself in literature, insert yourself violently into the life of a writer of autofiction.

Pissed myself so they have to take me home.

I feel much better since I stopped writing.

Writing is really just a nervous condition that feeds upon itself. This is especially true of articles, which are more written than read, and do no one any good. Someone should get the word out to the political weeklies and they can do themselves and everyone else a favour.

It’s interesting how all the people who are suddenly concerned about protecting Swans and Carp are the same people whose cats and dogs have been decimating our wildlife populations for decades. Oh and don’t forget all the roadkill they cause with their cars. Don’t be a punt!

It is easier to write when one works a fifty hour week than it is to write when unemployed.

@RupertLowe10 I am married to a third world conman.

This may come as a surprise to some, but I would make it significantly easier for British citizens to bring their foreign spouses to the UK. Crucially alongside the introduction of a red list, which would see a long list of countries facing higher barriers to entry - slashing down fraud. This would be based on a number of metrics, with parliamentary oversight to impose checks/changes... If a country's citizens are disproportionately proven to commit fraud, claim welfare, break the law, abuse our generosity, enter illegally? They go on the red list. Albania, Pakistan, Eritrea, Somalia to name just some... It would be a very long list. Perhaps a green list would be more appropriate. If a British man wants to bring his American wife to Britain? Raise a family here? Bring their children up in our country? We should not stand in the way, as currently happens. We should be welcoming and encouraging it. Do not underestimate how hostile the environment currently is. These men and women are treated like dirt by our Home Office - all whilst floods of unvetted third world conmen stream across the Channel to be welcomed with five star accommodation. Where is the decency in that? We deal with so many families torn apart because of these rules in Great Yarmouth. It is unnecessarily cruel. Our immigration system needs a total overhaul. It should reward, not wickedly punish, decent Brits looking to build a life with their husband or wife. Firm, but fair.

If you look at this through the lens of the five-factor model of personality, the issue comes down to neuroticism. Women, on average, tend to score higher on neuroticism than men. This helps explain why lesbian relationships, or unions if one insists on calling them that, are statistically more prone to instability: they bring together two individuals who are more likely to exhibit that trait. Male-female marriages, by contrast, are generally more stable because the man’s typically lower level of neuroticism counterbalances the woman’s. The most stable of all, by this measure, are male-male unions, since both partners are less likely to score high on neuroticism. This, of course, is not in any way an endorsement of such unions, as true marriage can only exist between a man and a woman. But it does provide an interesting perspective on the influence of personality traits in relational stability.

Those who studied medicine, engineering, etc. have the luxury of entertaining the fantasy that, had things been otherwise, they would have been poets rather than wealthy. We, students of literature, who have no professional ties to literature, are afforded no such luxury.

What is 'Stormzy'?