Waites Laseter

"Well I didn't know there was a parade, so I took off my pants & went"

"If I wasn't in love I'd suck the 401k out of him"

"I feel like if I show up to work hungover there's always some sort of extra cosmic punishment"

"You look really cute riding bitch like that" "That's what I do, I'm a bar back"

"All my ex-boyfriend's have all my dicks"

"Actually, it's a 13 year old singing with a mouth full of raisins, you'd like that... Wait, I want a massage, it's my birthday"

"It's so hot, my clit is sweating"

"How are you still alive?!" "Tequila & whale bones"

"Indiana Jones on ketamine. WHOLE DIFFERENT MOVIE!!!"

"Shit I love corn"

"I've got butterflies where my cobwebs were"

"So I've got this client up outside Athens. He's got a grave digging company. So I drive up there to bring him a bag of onions, & then I got some barbecue..." "I'm sorry, rewind. Onions?" "Well yeah. I bring all my clients bags of onions. Well, only the big ones"

"Sadie, that looks like a yoga pose" "Yeah, it's called downward spiral"

"I don't wanna fight, I've got too many screws in my body" "... I've got too much cocaine in my bra"

"I've got nerve damage in my hips, I'm doing what a lady's supposed to"

"I'm gonna go take my jazz lesson 😈"

"Do you know why I don't have pets? If I had animals, I'd have an ass-load of spiders!"

Late 30s on the Edge of Seventeen

"The biggest shadow is under the light"

Concept: Racoon as a gentrifier