justin

I’ll work at Twitter.

2-2-22-2:15am

@TheoVon Dean von

Oh... hey 👋🏻😉 Retweet for the non-cropped version 😈

@marknorm I like big decks too nice for bbq and beers

I live in a small apt and photos of your backyard get me excited. Please send me a deck pic!

@bertkreischer Red hot chilli Bert

I RT'd this without looking at the fucking PIC!

@NikkiGlaser Both.

@ramsay_jacqui Happy birthday

Well today's my birthday I'm 62, I work in care but got day off, still 4 years to till retirement. I went out to treat myself to a nice birthday cake, with isolation wont see my daughter or grandkids. Can I get a birthday message to cheer me up please.x

@samtripoli Rolling papers?

You now have to carry papers with you incase you get pulled over by the cops!

@bertkreischer @corona $9.99 12 packs

Hey Guys - you know the people at @Corona are shitting their pantalones what w/ Cinco De Mayo right around the corner...I say we take the day to help them with some "Marketing Pitches"!

@barstoolsports Fuck no!!

One of the best to do it.. this stand up special is hilarious..

@samtripoli It’s working for me on Apple.

Apple has taken down my Alex Jones episode!

What’s your total? Skipped class = $250 Use Social Media = $150 Stole from a store = $250 Fought someone = $150 Juuled, Smoked, or Vaped = $150 Kissed Someone = $300 Had the police called on you = $300 Played Fortnite = $50 RT if you have over $500

Coronavirus: PM to rush emergency legislation through the Commons dlvr.it/RSNTsJ

Our economy’s being destroyed and people are mad at what names we’re calling a virus! If shit hits the fan feelings go out the door! Ever see a Non Binary Emo in any Mad Max Movie? Racial slurs will be the least of our problems! There are no safe spaces in a zombie apocalypse!

Twitter, I have a request. It’s my daughter, Rosie’s 5th birthday tomorrow. But my partner has a fever, so we have to self-quarantine for 2 weeks. Her party is cancelled and grandparents barred. Could you send her some pics of your dogs (or animals generally) to cheer her up?

@LearNonsense Happy birthday!!! from sage and mushy face aka cookie