The Guru

@methumuhia You think oil works like ordering cup of tea? Even if barrel is $88 today, supply won’t reach Kenya immediately. What’s ordered now could take around 2 months. Oil tankers almost like riding a bicycle 🚲 across the ocean—imagine cycling all the way from Dubai to Kenya.

The global oil price in March 2022 were 139 dollars per barrel. The current global oil prices are 88 dollars a barrel.

@metty1_ @Robah10_ Perhaps he is the problem

My mom guyz,I mean my own mother,my biological mother Just told my boyfriend to look for a serious girlfriend💔😭

@rerei_nathan It’s not about valuables or death—it’s about youthful energy. Ujana ni moshi: intense but short-lived. Like a bull’s yuukta, it’s the source of strength, dominance and vitality—and when it fades, so does that edge and dominance.

In Kalenjin (Kipsigis based) Yuukta - the hump on bulls - there's a say associated with it going, "mo lildo kiruk yuk", translating to "a bull doesn't die with the hump". It's meant to tell people that when they die, they'll leave behind their valuables and encourage sharing

@MCKTV2 That is a great piece of art...

If Shaffie came to a wedding in the village with that snake stick sa hii tungekua tumeenda soin kutafuta mbuzi ya white ya kufanyia cleansing 😂

@omgjulissaa How do you enjoy being in the toilet?

Do men actually enjoy anal?

@Bookten8 He shoes ☹️🤔

Today I checked on my beautiful wife

@Josh001J Names themselves are a human construct—tools we use to identify and refer to things. It’s entirely possible that in other realms, names as we understand them aren’t necessary or don’t function the same way...

Humans invented alphabets. But Angels have English names. Whites hutuona mafala sana

@Josh001J You’re being overly simplistic in your reasoning. Those English names are just translations, not original identities. Even in Swahili, we adapt or translate angelic names to fit the language, but that doesn’t mean those beings inherently have Swahili names.

@Osama_otero To the exact without any delay, splash time 3.07am Kenyan time

Someone calculated the exact time the Artemis II will splashdown. Yaani exact hour, exact minute and exact second. I need to go back to school.

@dammiedammie35 As a Kenyan living in Kenya, fuel ⛽ price hasn't changed even a coin since the American/Israel/Iran war began....the supply is constant except few isolated cases of fuel distributors hoarding the product with hope of prices increase but generally we good.

“The fuel price is biting hard, but look around, let us thank God together, that you are better off than those in Kenya and other African countries” - Tinubu tells Nigerians

@Kenyans This guy is going psycho

Former CS Raphael Tuju declares he wishes to be buried within 48 hours of his death, insists State officials should not attend his funeral

@NelsonHavi @XReelux So what is your point Mr. Chai man?

Ndugu, Hezekiah Oyugi was 100 times more powerful than you but was used, dumped and killed. In fact, he was poisoned like a fat rat. Do not think you are very smart.

@Kenyans AI isn't something new, many might doubt her, I also did IA as a course Unit of Computer science back in 2004.

I hold three diplomas and three degrees. I did my thesis in AI back in 1992 - Governor Wavinya

@al_varo777 In space, you actually do see the Sun—and it’s even more intense than on Earth. The difference is this: on Earth, our atmosphere scatters sunlight in all directions, lighting up the sky and making everything bright (and hot enough to send us running for shade

In space you don’t see the sun even though on earth it scorches so much that people create shades for it 😂😂

@ahmednasirlaw People at high offices require some soft landing....it's an unwritten law

He is fired from KRA. He is then appointed Ambassador same minute. I don't get it!...and hundreds of career officers some working in the Minstry for 30 years are overlooked...Orwellian...Animal Farm!

@Kenyans This guy seems to have lingering psychological effects from a difficult childhood. But more importantly, why do presidents campaign on policies and manifestos? It’s because they’re elected to implement development agendas, and that requires control over public resources.

We need an independent treasury to lock our money away from the President - Okiyah Omtatah

@DrRoselynAkombe @j_kenn_ Wewe ulifumble na uchaguzi wetu kisha ukakimbia nchi. Quitters have no standing to advise anyone.

Tusifumble. We have a real opportunity to send ALL these guys home/Kamiti.

@kibeandy People often come across just a few fragments of information, then let their imagination run wild—spinning all kinds of conspiracy theories. Anyway, keep your personal opinions to yourself. The universe isn’t obligated to make sense to anyone.

The only thing NASA took to space was your imagination

@_wakioh Weird, 🤔 why should a man want to see his own asshole?

Tyler Mbaya of Machachari decided to unite Kenyans in Telegram 👇 Open thread 🧵

@rerei_nathan 13✅✅✅✅✅

These are the Kipsigis clans that have been confirmed so far. But there are probably a few still not listed