greydawg

Helllloooooooo

Bc Kenny g plays saxophone It's a pun Fml

RIP to the time I sent an attorney a message about a client and I got a few letters wrong and autocorrect accidentally called the client "Kenny G" and then I made the joke "oops I meant REDACTEDNAME haha guess I got sax on the brain" and she never responded Rip

Me after leaving school

"Those man titty things that are hard and disappointing, what are those called" "pecs?" "OH yeah"

@moonlarking Brand new sentances

I’m sorry I can’t take Percy seriously after I found out he couldn’t swim but insisted on going boating anyways and when he finally drowned & washed up on shore lord Byron tried to jump on his funeral pyre to steal his skull to add to his “wine goblet skull” collection

The Wheel of Time turns, and ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legends fade to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again.

Somebody tell me not to text her "my therapist thinks you don't love yourself"

She got a cute doormat with rainbow that says "everyone is welcome here" and said that's our compromise which yeah I guess, I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't push it until we own a home or are renting a place in my name

Technically the place is in her name. Also our city does not have protections from eviction for being gay.

Ok yall opinion time. I have flown a pride flag outside of every place I have lived / couch surfed / squatted in, ever since I left home / was kicked out. My gf grew up with a gay mom and doesn't want to put up a pride flag. I dont understand why. Should I push it or no?

That time I was sweating in line at the college cafeteria while the server girlie asked me if I wanted polenta, saw my quiet panic, and whispered "it's bougie grits" thank you miss ma'am wherever you are 🙏

The quote tweets on this are gold

If orcas sink my boat then that's on me that's my bad and I deserved that.

Yall I am done with this pos platform

Man twitter is a steaming pile of shit rn. Gonna have to switch to something else. Tumblr? Idk

Watching this ant man quantum movie. It's like star wars but worse

Just watched the movie Mother on Netflix. The most unrealistic thing about that movie was the rural Alaskan clerk questioning anybody about buying massive amounts of ammo. People up here in Alaska be buying ammo like their mother's village was already lost to the zombie plague.