The First Robyn of Spring

What if I told you that there's a place called Schrödinger's Bakery where you can have your cake and eat it, too?

"Don't make me write a poem about it," I threatened.

My ability to casually slot the word "hussy" into any conversation remains undiminished.

@HansonOHaver See also: "fusion"

in my recollection from like 2004–12 somehow "thai restaurants" was the go-to shorthand for gentrification

Charles Simic said it best: "A thousand naked fornicating couples with their moans and contortions are nothing compared to a good metaphor."

If you ask me, the only palatable reincarnation scenario would be to return as Mark Knopfler's guitar solo in "Sultans of Swing."

"I'm the reason my therapist has a therapist," she flirted.

Most people rejected his message. They hated Freud because he told them the truth.

"Life is art's spite."

That’s it. That’s the whole story.

Ujj Zsuzsi | Mirror on The Wall #2 | 1986-7

Norman Seeff • Blondie on the fire escape of the Chelsea Hotel, 1979

Does anybody else have to psych themselves up before saying "isthmus" out loud?

If there's a sock on my doorknob, it can only mean one thing: I'm watching the PBS Pledge Drive.

Katsuhiro Otomo

Martin Parr | Kleine Scheidegg, Switzerland | 1994

― Virginia Woolf

The best way to remember that you stashed a croissant in your back pocket is to sit down.

Yes, it happened to me: I was kicked out of my group chat for having the audacity to suggest that blue raspberry is the "buddy comedy" of artificial flavors.