last night i spoke to a friend i’ve known since high school. he was always a couple of steps ahead of me back then, senior in school, senior in life, senior in the upsc race too.
this was his 4th attempt.
second interview.
and still, no name in the final list.
he sounded calm on the phone. calmer than most people would be. he said he might join a coaching institute to teach. maybe start posting on instagram too. apparently a lot of aspirants who step out of the upsc loop are sharing their life online now “life after upsc”, “what i learned from failures”, things like that. and honestly, those posts get a lot of engagement.
on the other side of the internet you’ll see the selected candidates. standing outside the UPSC building. posting photos with powerful songs in the background. edits on the audio of 12th fail. powerful captions about dreams, sacrifices, destiny.
both sides are real but they exist in completely different emotional worlds.
maybe you can’t truly understand either side unless you’re standing there yourself.
i think i’m at a strange age right now. old enough to understand the weight of what they’re going through but still young enough to feel the raw emotion of it.
because the truth is clearing an exam changes your life but not clearing it also changes your life and society has a strange way of making sure that change follows you forever.
you might leave the upsc cycle. you might build a stable career somewhere else. you might be earning well, living peacefully and still, somewhere in an introduction, someone will say: “he was preparing for upsc earlier… didn’t clear it… now he’s doing this.”
as if a person’s entire decade can be reduced to one unfinished result.
this is what hype does. when a generation keeps calling an exam life-changing, eventually it stops being just an exam.
it becomes identity.
status.
validation.
and sometimes even shame.
people compare it with NEET or JEE but there’s a fundamental difference.
most people attempt those exams at 18 or 19. you either clear it or you move on early in life.
upsc sits in a completely different phase.
most people attempt it between 22 and 28, the exact years when the rest of the world is building careers, relationships, financial stability.
so when someone doesn’t make it after multiple attempts, they aren’t just walking away from an exam.
they’re walking away from years of identity.
last night’s conversation made me realise something uncomfortable.
behind every rank holder’s celebration post. there are thousands of silent goodbyes happening in small rooms across the country without any dramatic music or goodbye captions.
just someone quietly deciding
what the rest of their life will look like after letting go of a dream.
Zomato’s support team keeps getting worse by the minute. We are expected to communicate with their AI assistants who neither have the authority to cancel orders and issue refunds, nor can they compensate for delays. How is any of this helpful? TERRIBLE customer service.
Terrible experience shopping @CaratLane Their 15 day exchange policy is a big scam that the salesman pitch when you’re making the purchase and very smartly leave out important details. Have been following up with the team for days and no one is responding on call or mail!
“someone who does not abandon tenderness when life becomes inconvenient. someone whose rage never frightens u, whose silence never punishes u, whose presence never belittles u. choose the one who treats u with care even when they are angry” also be kind too