Jeff Allen

Sorry I missed your text, I’ve been busy pushing everyone close to me away and binge watching horrible tv and thinking about how none of this matters. Let’s get lunch soon

@Jordanbloked 😭😭 love you

@writtenbyjeff me telling people about you

“It’s 8 inches and thick btw” - me as a doctor telling my patient they have a brain tumor

Me explaining to HR why it’s not bullying

Got in trouble for calling the other Jeff at work the Bad Jeff

I text this guy first yesterday so I feel like I shouldn’t communicate first today. Also should I put yellow wallpaper in the house where I die alone

@X_Aeon_X Lisa Simpson would not say that

AMC a list raising their price? That’s fine. They could raise it to $300 and I would still pay. I’m horrible with money

@Neil_McNeil sorry that was me

Not me getting called a faggot on the street while walking home from a hike in Los Feliz

Used a different mirror this time

Me trying to subtly drop hints I want to get staffed on the new Melrose Place

@RyanTroutSays Exactly

“He’s fine! He sends his love”

I put a new sticker on my phone

I thought it said ‘Throuple to Couple’ where they vote someone out of the relationship instead and I like that more

#ItsAWonderfulKnife had enough heart and bloodshed to garner my investment. Jane Widdop shines as the protragonist, but Justin Long devours every scene. The whodunit aspect fell a little flat, but I'll be adding this to my yearly December watch list. youtu.be/SKnrBsp-m0s?si…

@caitiedelaney He texted between snake games

So much more diabolical when you consider the year. You know it read like “m brkn up w u. sry”

Getting over a situationship that was mostly imagined in my mind

I’ve been working in an accounting office for three weeks now

New poster for Stephen King’s ‘The Boogeyman’ starring Sophie Thatcher.