Josh M. (JayNeko)@JayNekoVR
TLDR: My round 8 opponent in Orlando yelled at me, tried to prevent me from calling a judge, was brought to tears, and manipulated me until I gave her the win for Day 2.
My opponent made it clear from the moment we sat down she had never made day 2 before, had been playing for 8 years, this was the farthest she'd ever gone, looked up my limitless page and saw I'd day 2'd before, etc. Friendly and talkative until she misplayed, asked if she could take back an action (played ultra ball, wanted to super rod first), and I wanted to call a judge to resolve. She proceeded to yell at me, was brought to tears, and accused me of taking advantage of her having a panic attack by saying I wanted to call a judge. "I can't believe you're doing this to me," "You're being so mean." Totally out of left field. No one should EVER be made to feel like a bad person for wanting to call a judge to find the best resolution. She made a huge, loud scene, had a complete breakdown, and everyone sitting around us was looking over. I was embarrassed and felt like the worst person in the world. One of the players next to us started trying to comfort her mid-round. I ended up making the judge call in the middle of all this and the gameplay issue was de-escalated, but despite an extension (that was too short), we didn't have time to even start our game 3.
Before the match, we agreed to discuss a gentleman's agreement if we reached game 3, but we didn't make it that far as we ran out of time just as she tied it up in game 2. She then accused me of reneging on an agreement and became extremely manipulative... "If I were in your shoes and my opponent hadn't made day 2 before, I'd give it to them," "we made a gentleman's agreement, but if you wanna take it back, whatever I guess." (Despite this very clearly just falling into concession territory). The judge standing near us even said "don't say things like that" as we had this post-match discussion.
I try to avoid confrontation, consider myself a nice person, and am often a people pleaser. I've been taken advantage of in the past because of this. Honestly, I think she recognized this after her initial outburst and saw an opening.
If not for the outburst, and the wildly unsportsmanlike conduct, I probably would have given her the win in this situation anyway so she could have a day 2 for the first time. Instead, I felt attacked and pressured by the possibility of another outburst if I refused to concede. So I did. At the end of the day, I have myself to blame for that, but this was the most deeply uncomfortable I've ever felt during a match. Pokemon should be a welcoming game and players should never be villainized for trying to clarify rules with judges and reach amicable resolutions. And no competitor "deserves" an outcome more than someone else for any other reason than the result of each game itself.
In no way do I want to minimize the struggles my opponent may have with anxiety or other mental illness. My wife has chronic anxiety and I am deeply aware of the challenges and complexity that brings to everyday life. I hope my opponent is getting the help she needs, but that NEVER gives anyone license to lash out or raise their voice at other players.
The last thing I want is a "witch hunt" for this person; I'm sharing my story in the hopes that it can prevent other players from ever feeling this way. It's important to advocate for yourself and not to let your opponent make you feel guilty for trying to make sure the game is played fairly. Your opponent doesn't "deserve" a win any more than you do, regardless of how long they've been playing or how badly they say they want it. And don't be afraid to report your opponent for unsportsmanlike conduct.
I've spoken to some judges to try and prevent this from happening to other players. This soured the whole day for me, so I'd appreciate any chance to share my experience in greater detail if it can help avoid this kind of thing in the future. Thanks for reading
