(parody) cain, extraction dept. agent

@LcorpNugget_J …that’s rather convenient but alright… [they would run off towards the welfare team]

@Lcorpcain ... [Somewhere you hear, "Manager, are you braindead?! Forsaken Murderer just breached!"] ..Oh no, Forsaken Murderer's out and he's going to the Welfare Department... Go stop him...

//postmortem low effort int bait.... i've posted enough High Quality Content™️ today to treat myself to something easy,,

@LcorpNugget_J Maybe, I’ll just stick to tea for now though!, I rarely have time to go to other departments outside of suppression efforts. Still, it was nice of you to offer!

@Lcorpcain You're just tasting the shitty coffee from the other departments.. They don't even wash their coffee machines, you'll probably get a disease from drinking it! Come to Welfare- Chesed gave us our own cool, clean coffee machine in our break room..

@LcorpNugget_J It sometimes helps, and that’s BS! Coffees all bitter and barely has variety, atleast the ones I’ve tried.

@Lcorpcain I can't imagine the consultations help much, she always talks in.. ..There's no way to better describe it than "Binah-Speak"... ..And coffee's better than tea, anyway.

@LcorpNugget_J She’s not bad aslong as you work hard, she provides tea and consultations at any time, it does suck to have to do the extractions on top of actual work though…

@Lcorpcain ..Man, am I glad I'm in Welfare. Chesed reminds us to take breaks and take care of ourselves, /and/ tells us to shower daily. Everything I've heard about Binah is.. Either terrifying or awful, I'm glad I don't have her as a Sephirah.

@LcorpNugget_J I can’t most of the time, binah has me doing overtime and I usually take extra work after that so I end up falling asleep around the afternoon, usually in the middle of the hallway.

@Lcorpcain ..Do you not shower right after work..?? How do you- [They hold their nose.] ..Egh.

@Tatyana_Yuri >if you say anything bad I will come over there and tear you apart myself :D

[To @Lcorpcain] > yoai > clw datr > tis guy dtes skyskraprs

Ha... I'm bored... Whelp, I've seen a few of my colleagues do this. BOTTOM'S UP!

@BoughA61050 Dammit bud…I told you to take a break… just get actual sleep at some point alright?

I have noticed is that this body gets unnaturally tired in the late hours of the day. It does make it harder to continue preparations when I fall asleep at the table.

@LcorpNugget_J Makes sense, saying that I should probably go shower… [he hasn’t showered in a week]

@Lcorpcain ..Don't take it personally, but... I can't stand the smell of the Smiling Bodies' suit- And I'm pretty sure most Extraction Agents don't shower..? If you showered, it might be 1, but uh, probably 5.

@MagdaNugget Hah, you can always clean it up later… [the continue tousling, laughing a bit] thanks mags.

@Lcorpcain Y-You're gonna leave my hair looking like a messss... *Magda closes her eyes, her ears twitching at his touch* D-Don't stop though... your t-touch feels s-so nice...

// affectionate magda int bait cuz i feel like it, also magda is wearing her hornet suit again \\

//now THIS is the quality content i need to be posting. cain please transition

@LcorpNugget_J //peak :D thanks johnson!!!

@Tatyana_Yuri [you head banging on the door, before steps walking away]

@Lcorpcain HAHA! NOPE! [She slams herself into the elevator, and the doors shut right in his face the moment he got close.]

shamefully stolen, interact if ya want

@HELPFULEUGENE well, someone just scribbled yaoi on my forehead so...

@Lcorpcain What rude things is there to write? You’re a very nice person if you look past the cannibalism!

@MagdaNugget hehe! [cain continues playing with her hair] whyyyy...

@Lcorpcain *Magda is surprised by him, but she just sighs and smiles* C-Caaain... What are you d-doing...? Staaawp... *Yet she doesn't do anything to stop it, actually enjoying it*

@MagdaNugget oh, yeah! thanks mags!

@Lcorpcain I-I just wrote that you're a v-very kind cannibal... Isn't that a-awesome...?

@LuckyNuggetLoki oh cool! thanks Loki!

@Lcorpcain *He drew a mini version of Cain on the back of his hand!*

@Tatyana_Yuri what- HEY GET OVER HERE [they would sprint after Tatyana

@Lcorpcain Is this a growing trend or something? Anyways... [She proceeds to scribble "YAOI" on his forehead, before scrambling like an egg, before she got folded like an omelette.]

@MagdaNugget I cant see whatever you wrote but, thanks hopefully?

@Lcorpcain *Magda writes "Very kind cannibal!" in his cheek*

@HELPFULEUGENE True, thanks for not doing that Eugene. Considering I feel other people might…

@Lcorpcain Why would I write something weird? That’s rude!

@DerFemschutze I already have a lot of pain going on don’t worry, besides, it hurts like hell already and wearing one will just let me take the blindfold off, it’s not like I’m replacing a large chunk of me, it’s already missing.

@Lcorpcain -she stops- PROSTHETICS ARE BAD! MISS KROMER SAYS THAT PAIN IS REQUIRED FOR THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE!!