The Lizard of Oz

Lizards enjoy congregating in and around my front porch

@rockmeannadeus You can say the same thing about banks

a barbershop that's closed on weekends with 9-5 hours has got to be one of the funnier business ideas i've seen

@memecrashes If I run Into the Woods and turn a boulder over, then stand where that boulder was, the odds are probably in my favor

@DiscussingFilm "Ill just wait til its on sale"

PlayStation is significantly raising the prices of their consoles. • PS5 - $549 ➡️ $649 • PS5 Digital - $499 ➡️ $599 • PS5 Pro - $749 ➡️ $899 • Portal - $199 ➡️ $249

@LinkofSunshine 5 hours ago Im afraid.

Genuine question: what time should I leave for my 10pm flight tommorow

@FanAkko This tweet is about public transportation

I was on my schools student council and we were never allowed soap dispensers in our bathrooms so I vehemently argued for it and finally got them in and then the first day we had them i saw someone scissor kick them off the wall and then we never got soap in our bathrooms again

@ManaByte I dont want to have play catch up and watch a half dozen movies and a couple of Disney+ series to understand whats going on in the Avengers.

“Dunesday” is absolutely not even close to being the same as Barbenheimer. That was counterprogramming. Barbie and Oppenheimer were targeting totally different audiences. Avengers: Doomsday and Dune: Part Three are fighting for the same audience, and no matter what, both movies’ box office will be smaller. Doomsday will obviously beat Dune, but it won’t make as much as it could without Dune releasing on the same day. It also doesn’t have IMAX screens.

@SandyofCthulhu @anthro_andrew Save reason why a bean or mushroom based burger tastes so much better than any meat substitutes. It's not trying to be something it's not.

The thing about tofu is if you eat it in a Western restaurant it’s awful. They treat it as a meat “substitute”. Its texture is weird and it never seems to soak up the “right” flavors from what its cooked with. But if you get it from an authentic Asian restaurant, where they treat it as a foodstuff, instead of a “substitute” it’s not bad. It’s in dishes where its texture works fine, it gets simmered into spicy sauces that actually taste good. It’s a whole new tofu. Ma Po, Crispy Fried with Peanut Sauce, Soondobu. They’re great. The problem is American (and I assume European) vegetarians have no idea how to use it. (Pictured: Chinese pork-stuffed tofu)

@vintagemapstore I like the idea, but we definitely need better names

What the 50 US states might look like if they were redrawn today based on economic connections.

@MaybeSoland 40 hours? You mean part time?

Slowly becoming convinced over the last 2 years that a lot of people are just lazy and make far too big of a deal out of working 40 hours a week

the future is just an endless churn of adapting your consumption habits to whatever venture-capital-backed seller is currently selling at a loss to capture market share

@realMyLanta @PaulSkallas For starters the streets are way too wide, which contributes to the feeling of emptiness i bet.

@PaulSkallas I love SLC but it is strangely devoid of life and soul. I can't place why but I blame and credit Mormons.

I remember traveling to Salt lake City for work. Stayed for a few weeks. Drove around the suburbs. I kept thinking to myself, wow, you guys have a great state. This is a very nice population. High trust. You could all move to SLC. Make it one of the great cities in America. When I asked people about this they said they preferred the suburbs to living in a city.

@Mon_Damoiseau This is just the end result of people using the same conversation over the span of several months and thousands of inputs.

i'm like, genuinely bewildered people can get chatbots to talk to them like this. like, how many hours do you have to spend manipulating their memory and personalisation features to flip them into grooming mode? it's so scary

@nabla_theta Ive been told Im full of it.

"twin", "king", "queen"... why are the youths calling each other mattress sizes

@allgarbled A few years ago I considered going back to school for an engineering phd Now I realize I need to learn to work with my hands, and fast.

Every single software engineer I know has told me their plan if the profession gets automated is to become an electrician.

@nickimoraa Mrs. "I cant figure out how to wire a 3 way switch"

As an adult I have learned that the most shocking and unexpected opponent in life is the person who owned your house before you.

@twinkdefcon Scarcity mindset as a survival mechanism. Or something idk

Striking how common the behavior pattern of “I need to minmax absolutely every aspect of my life or I’m NGMI” has gotten now. You see it with incels. You see it with jobseekers. You see it with students. There’s a compulsive, inflexible hunt for absolute maximization everywhere

@Arcfunmi The immense disappointment i felt the moment I tried reading the words on the building plan.

This is why engineers hate Architects, it's not jealousy

@MrnllMtt We really are just flying blind aren't we

I refuse to believe this is a real article

I’ve been staring at this photo of a bittern pretending to be a stick for an hour and I can’t stop laugh-crying. Look at it. I’m losing my mind.