Warren G.Harding

That was a GOP fluff piece. Although when @JamesBuchananG4 insisted on not wearing pants through the shooting @JohnDosPassos2 @TheDailyShow

That bitch is just upset cause I won't rusty trombone her. That bitch has been trying to gay me for years @JohnDosPassos2 @TheDailyShow

I just saw this horrendous travesty. I am only as gay as my totally hot lady vagina parties are. @vinceguerrieri @TheDailyShow

Hey @TheDailyShow how dare you?!?!? I'm a lady lover. Sure I may like butt sex but only from the ladies. How dare you

No. The only time I guard the net is #InertInnuendoHere @singheyjude

Do mirrors remember? If so, I am totally screwed

You are probably a shitty journalist writing a shitty article if this is your opening sentence

Pretty sure you don't understand fishing “@MelanieIglesias: I'm a fisherman... macmiller Instagram.com/p/YjZYwVOzNK/”

Ahhh the #nfldraft combines my love of football with my love of copious HR decisions

Holy shit!!! The official Klondike is responding to this little president “@Klondikebar: @WGHarding Haha that's an interesting observation!”

Choco-taco looks a lot like a stegosaurus. #conspiracy

Why do my neighbors get so uptight when I read their mail?

Was I as awesome in your dream as IRL? RT “@LewandowskiCarl: I had a dream that I met Warren Harding and we talked about his presidency.”

#WeBrokeUpBecause they stopped giving full refunds for defective dildos at Sex Toys r' Us

#WeBrokeUpBecause my dick was too damn big. At least I assume that's why

#WeBrokeUpBecause you tried to murder me

When u retire I'm going to paint the hell out of some mother fucking dog paintings. Amiright, @G_W_Bush

Sometimes I forget to close the Lincoln bedroom shades when I disrobe. She probably saw that and was inspired @PresFDR @christianaha04q

Boy Scout compromise is brilliant. Just exclude some gays. Hahaha. Take that, other gays #BSA