Jay Stringer

After Unwanted, I kept listening. The deeper work came into focus: it isn’t only about stopping “unwanted” behaviors—it’s about forming desire, the force under our choices. My new book, DESIRE is now available for preorder, wherever books are sold.

Vulnerability isn't a reward for healing. It's the path to it. Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow — Chapter 15, p. 291 Desire is available now. Grab your copy here: ow.ly/3Oik50YwBBG #Desire #JayStringer

The limping doesn't go away. But you start to see why it matters. Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow — Chapter 5, p. 74 Desire is available now. Grab your copy here: ow.ly/5Uzv50Yw7lv #Desire #JayStringer

Dr. Dan Allender changed the trajectory of my life. I would not be doing the work I do in the world without his wisdom and friendship. Desire is available now: ow.ly/r3qS50Yvv1I

Desire is available now. Grab your copy here: ow.ly/VKS650Yt2Mw #Desire #JayStringer

This excerpt is from Desire— Chapter 7: How Am I Burdening Others with My Need for Validation? (pp. 101–104), in the section on differentiation and the reflected sense of self. Desire is available now. Grab your copy here: ow.ly/bJ0h50Yt4CF #Desire #JayStringer

Sexual desires are no exception. P*rn*graphy, in particular, has played a significant role in reshaping sexual norms. Desire is available now. Grab your copy here: ow.ly/Toqe50Yt2o6

We are constantly collecting, interpreting, and acting on complex signals. But what if the apparatus helping us feel, interpret, and choose our desires is faulty, or at least misunderstood? That question is what drove me to research desire across 7,000 men and women.

I want to show you why your relationship to desire is worthy of your full attention. If you preorder Desire, you can receive a sneak peek of the book today: the introduction and first chapter. 1. Click this link to request your free first chapter: jay-stringer.com/desire-first-c…

That phrase—“hospitality inward”—is the one I keep coming back to. One of the core questions of Desire is this: What if you became unreasonably hospitable to the places of difficulty you find yourself in today? Desire is available where books are sold.

Desire is born! This book is an invitation to take seriously the desires inside of you. We simply have no idea what we are depriving ourselves and others when we suppress or vandalize the longings inside of us.

To grow upward, we must first descend. Just as a seed germinates in dark conditions, we must face difficult, uncomfortable truths about ourselves if we are to grow. Desire releases March 3rd — click here to save your copy: ow.ly/4VgE50YlFZa

What if our most fervent desires are motivated by something underdeveloped within us? What if we are aiming our growth at the wrong target? Desire → ow.ly/qGXz50Yixoc

A special pre-publication event with @_jaystringer and @JonTyson Forming Desire: How the Church Can Move Beyond Suppression — a free live webinar on the Christian formation of desire for faith leaders, clergy & therapists. Wed 2/25 at 9:30am ET → eventbrite.com/e/forming-desi…

35,000 decisions a day. Most shaped by stories you've never examined.

Regardless of how we navigate these complexities, one thing remains clear: Most of us could use some help in our relationship to desire. You can preorder Desire here: ow.ly/Tbbu50YisOx

After trauma, the journey back to relationships feels fraught with risk... Yet deep down, we never stop longing for a compassionate witness someone who sees us, grieve alongside us, and celebrate our growth, helping us believe that trauma does not have the last word.

𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲: We want erotic passion, but we leave little room for the rest and vulnerable conversations that pleasure actually requires.

If your marriage feels tepid, exhausted, or in a rough stretch, consider giving each other the gift of these five days together. You can find it in the Bible App or start here: bible.us/r/HRJ Link is also in my bio.

In the same way, personal growth comes not from repressing or banishing painful emotions or relational experiences, but in learning to extend as much kindness toward them as we can muster.

When a dear friend was facing a significant illness, the writer John O’Donohue sent a letter that included the words: “May you find in yourself a courageous hospitality toward what is difficult, painful, and unknown.”