tate

asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. asked them the same thing until i got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life

why is every fitness influencer a devout christian are scientists looking into this

i will be crashing out over text to someone while simultaneously ordering an iced coffee in person with what can only be described as a pep in my step

when you're 22 your instagram captions are "i'm not afraid to die” but the second you turn 29 they turn into “grateful to still be alive on this earth” or “cherishing every single second with my family (any moment could be my last)”

okay fine omg

has anyone considered that billionaire Bryan Johnson gets a perfect sleep score every night not because of the weird shit he does but because he has a billion dollars?

cigs kill you and give you cancer and people are like “vapes are worse than cigs.” do they kill you harder

i want to be healthy but at the same time eating a piece of fruit during the day is devastating for my aura

and if your chiropractor is really good, they’ll fix your back in exactly the same amount of time doing nothing will

@Mike_Perlmutter :)

@50FirstTates Tate is so back

the thing about correlation that keeps me up at night is that it doesn’t equal causation. never has. possibly never will

is this anything

each word is more insane than the last

what the HELL is this guy up to

the worst part about a charging vape exploding and burning down your house has got to be admitting to your family that you vape

getting 1% worse every day

made a lifelong friend in the random number spam gc

a bird just pooped on me on my way to work and everyone was like “that’s good luck!" is it??? kinda feels specifically like bad luck shit just fell on me from the sky

my girlfriend will call me handsome but won't HAND me SOME more beers when i'm finished with my other beers haha i love my girlfriend I shouldn’t have said that

i love the conspiracy theory that bill and hilary clinton were in a non-monogamous relationship but chose to call what happened infidelity because the public could forgive that but they couldn't forgive being poly

fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, i'll kill myself i swear to fucking god