Marc Wong

We can tackle the 2 greatest obstacles to equality: 1) men not appreciating what women face; 2) men thinking women are lesser. We can inspire men & women to: 1) see themselves in each other; and, 2) see the best in each other. bit.ly/2lohGdj

@Art0fThinking Listen

In 3 words or less how can you instantly change your mindset?

@susandominus BTW, I define listening as putting someone else’s speaking, thinking, feeling needs first. “I listen, therefore you are.” We are in a real sense lending our hearts and minds to others when we listen. 8/8

Does Therapy Work? Sometimes--but not reliably enough to comfort some researchers who are having a crisis of confidence about the field's so-so success rates: nytimes.com/2023/05/16/mag…

@susandominus Maybe the client hates teddy bears for some unknown reason. Finally, life and its problems are complex and multi-layered. It could take multiple iterations of discovery and growth to work through issues. This might help explain why there’s no simple way to evaluate therapy. 7/n

@susandominus This can also show where things can go wrong. There’s no teddy bear technique. There’s no single way to earn trust, share knowledge, and inspire positive change. The client may not have understood or appreciated the gesture or technique. 6/n

@susandominus The teddy bear represents the best a counselor can offer. It can include knowledge about psychological disorders and ways to manage them, generic problem solving skills, techniques from different therapeutic traditions, etc. 5/n

@susandominus Let me illustrate. Meghan watches her mother finish a phone call. “Mommy, why are you crying?” she asks. “I’m okay,” her mother responds. Meghan leaves the room and returns moments later. “When I’m sad, I hold on to Mr. Brown,” she says, handing a teddy bear to her mother. 4/n

@susandominus One way a counselor might do that is by offering their best with no strings attached. But there’s no recipe for actually doing it. There’s no guarantee that a particular counselor’s best is what a particular client needs at that moment. 3/n

@susandominus They may help their client to review the past with more compassion, look at the present with more insight and objectivity, and move forward with more skills, hope, and courage. 2/n

@susandominus I think one way counselors help is by earning trust and inspiring the client to think, feel, and practice new skills outside their comfort zone. 1/n

@ChrisCuilla If I haven’t learned anything about my wife’s day, then it probably means I haven’t listened to her. BTW, I used to work with network firewalls, and I’m curious about your listening journey.

A hard question I'm asking myself: "Do you have a listening goal for tomorrow?" Now I have to come up with one.

@ChrisCuilla “I think, therefore I am.” I listen, therefore you are. We understand and respect, therefore we are. We bring out the best in each other, therefore we thrive.

Effective leaders know when to stop talking and start listening with the kind of attentiveness that signals respect for people of all levels and roles, comes with a sense of curiosity, and even a degree of humility.

@ChrisCuilla Thanks for adding me to your list!

@ChrisCuilla If you didn’t learn anything during a meeting or conversation, then you probably weren’t listening.

@UCFreeListening Absolutely! Work is also full of experiences worth being heard. Getting sick is also an experience worth being heard. It's no fun being "processed" as a patient, to not have our frailty and mortality acknowledged.

At Urban Confessional, we believe there is value in simply listening to someone.⁠ ⁠ Our mission is to listen; believing that all people deserve to be heard, seen, and understood.⁠

@NathanpmYoung We should regularly ask ourselves, "Do I understand and respect more people than I did a year ago?"

I was listening to Amia Srinivasan's The Right to Sex last night and she talks about how porn floods us with a certain view of what sex should be like. Much of life is like this. We only have a certain bandwidth to think about things. What am I flooding mine with?

I have found huge value in spending time imagining how other people feel. Seriously, the next time you are with someone you care about, just think "what are they thinking? what do they want?" Then ask them

@MichelleObama Helping others.

I'd love to hear from you. What's a practice or purpose that lifts you up? #TheLightWeCarry

In my book #TheLightWeCarry, I share some of the tools and practices that have helped me along my journey. I recently had some friends share what uplifts them. Here are their reflections!

@RichardMCNgo Extending Descartes: I listen, therefore you are. We understand and respect, therefore we are. We bring out the best in each other, therefore we thrive.

@NathanpmYoung My idea is not so much to replace capitalism, but to use it to promote pro-social attitudes and skills. Eg. building understanding and respect, and helping others, which is good for individuals, companies, and society.

Capitalism and extinction-risk It seems likely to me that without capitalism, extinction risk would be lower. But capitalism is very effective at bringing people out of poverty. If you want to replace capitalism on risk grounds, how and what would you replace it with.

@katiefhurley What if these labels were forced on us during performance reviews or client meetings? How would that make us feel? 2/2 8steplisten.medium.com/lets-label-eve…

I have a lot of thoughts about this tweet, but what really strikes me is the casual tone of the cyberbullying. I was once a guest on your show to discuss relational aggression among girls. Well, here it is among women. Time to revisit the topic? Dr. Katie Hurley (not MD)

@katiefhurley People often don't realize their hidden biases against women. What if we forced EVERYONE to wear t-shirts, with the labels, "People question my credentials", or, "People think I'll always put my family ahead of my career". 1/2