Bob McCrackelberry III (Bobby)

IT kid with a beard told me my "legacy hardware" is a security vulnerability. Son, that "legacy hardware" has been running 24/7 since before your parents met at a Coldplay concert. It doesn't have an IP address. You can't "hack" a mechanical relay. Go back to your standing desk

Barbara is absolutely beside herself this evening. True American Hero.

A vendor tried to sell me a "Digital Twin" of our boiler. I told him I’ve already got a digital twin..t’s the two fingers I lost in '92 that still ache when the pressure gets too high. He didn't have a "data point" for that. Get out of my plant with your iPad. 🏭🔥 #OT #PlantLife

@infosec_fox 70 billion dollars. 5 users. And people ask ME why I don't trust technology companies. I'm going to go sit on my porch and drink a Budweiser in the REAL verse. The ONLY verse.

Meta has announced it is shutting down its VR metaverse on 15th of June. All 5 users are reportedly devastated. 😏

This guy and @digitalbond are on the same mystery anti-aging sorcery. #OTCybersecurity #BarbaraSaysItsTheMultiVitamines

New hire asked where the "E-Stop" is on the tablet. I pointed at the 3-foot iron lever that needs 50lbs of torque to throw. He asked for a "haptic" version. No, son, the "feedback" is your shoulder popping. Welcome to the real world. Pack a lunch. 🛠️🦾 #OT #PlantLife

@AngryAssetOwner $10 says he can give you a 20 minute explanation on the differences between a pilsner, a lager, and an IPA...

@elonmusk @elonmusk Fella called me about your OT Sec job. Interested, but a few conditions: I’m replacing every touchscreen with a physical lever, and we’re running the whole plant on a 4Mbit Token Ring network. And I'm sure as hell not moving to Fremont. You in? 🛠️ #OT #Tesla

Btw, the proceeds of any legal victory in the OpenAI case will be donated to charity. I will in no way enrich myself.

Stay safe. Stay alert. If it moves, grease it. If it doesn't move, hit it until it does. TIA - Bobby (Dictated but not read, because I have actual work to do)

TO THE IT DEPARTMENT: I saw the "Virtual St. Paddy’s Pot of Gold" link you emailed. I didn't click it. I assumed it was a virus, or another 40-minute training video on "Synergy." If you want to celebrate, come down here and help me swap the seals on the #3 pump.

NOTICE: RE: ST. PATRICK’S DAY DRESS CODE & GENERAL NONSENSE To: All Plant Personnel (and the IT guys who keep getting lost near the furnace) From: Bobby Per Mgt’s "Company Culture" initiative, I’ve been told to address the holiday. Here are the ground rules for today’s shift:

IT guy unplugged a dusty serial cable from the back of the CNC controller bc it "wasn't labeled in the database." That cable was the only thing telling the coolant pump not to melt the drill bit. He looked at the smoking machine & asked said he'd submit a "trouble ticket". FML

@ishowcybersec That the IT team (or the vendor who visits w/o PPE gear) knows how to protect a plant where things go boom. #OTCybersecurity @cybersecurity

Share one cybersecurity myth that many people still believe is true.

IT sent a "phishing test" email. I didn't click it because I don't check email, I check oil levels. Now I’m in a "security seminar." I told them I’m busy securing the plant from a literal steam explosion. Priorities are a foreign concept to these people. 🎣💨 #OTCyberSecurity #OT

Maybe the next time they want to "fix our network" they should fix Thanksgiving at their own house before knocking on our door. #OTCybersecurity #Automation #ICS #OT